Around 10 years ago I was sitting in a room with other dads and one of them asked this question:
What would happen in America if fathers poured just as much creative energy into their families as they pour into their work?
I've been wrestling with this question ever since.
In my own life, I've noticed how effortlessly I slip into "work mode"—strategic, innovative, solution-oriented. I listen to audio books, attend events, and seek out conversations that sharpen my professional edge.
Yet when I make my commute from my office back into my home (a grueling 15 second walk across the driveway), something shifts. The creative problem-solving mindset shifts to, "Whew! Time to relax."
Why is that?
There's a powerful cultural current that's been flowing for generations. Men feel like their primary contribution to family life is provision—the paycheck, the benefits, the financial security. Everything else is... extra credit.
I wonder what might change if we invested even a portion of our professional creative energy toward family life:
- What if we approached recurring family conflicts with the same innovative problem-solving we bring to workplace challenges?
- What if we studied family dynamics and child development with the same intensity we bring to product development?
- What if we designed family traditions and memory-making opportunities with similar creativity we bring to designing company culture?
- What if we networked with other dads about parenting strategies and family health the way we network with colleagues about organizational leadership and health?
It's so easy to build identity around professional achievement. There's external validation there. Clear metrics. Visible progress.
Family life is messier. The ROI isn't always clear. The metrics for success are fuzzy. The timeline for results may be multigenerational, not quarters.
And truthfully, I'm not always as confident in the family space. I know how to develop a business growth strategy for creators. I'm less certain about how to handle the nuances in a conflict between my children, or how to ensure my wife and I are always aligned.
Yet I can't help but imagine what we might gain—what our families might gain, what our society might gain—if we made this shift:
- Children who witness creative problem-solving in the home environment
- Spouses who experience partnership in the fullest sense
- Family cultures uniquely designed to help each member thrive
- Men who find purpose and meaning beyond professional achievement
- A society where the home is not just a place of consumption and recovery, but a place of creation and innovation
A decade later, I'm still wrestling with this question. It's not simple, but I believe wrestling with it is a worthy endeavor because underneath this question lies a deeper one:
At the end of my life, what will I wish I had created with the creative energy I was given?
Business is important. It enables us to serve customers and clients in very meaningful ways while also serving our family. It's part of how we make an impact in people's lives.
Family is also important. It, too, is how we make an impact in people's lives. However, just like business, it requires proper attention in order to fully realize the potential of its impact, both in our family relationships as well as in the rest of the world.
