A few weeks ago, someone asked me to evaluate my motives for something I was doing. They did so somewhat apologetically, but I honestly appreciated the confrontation. The way they approached me made me feel loved and protected. Like, "I care about you too much to let you run off that cliff."
Since then I've been thinking a lot about Hebrews 3:12-13 in the Bible, which says:
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
A few things I've been wrestling with specifically regarding this passage:
- I don't exhort others or receive exhortation daily. Probably not even annually unless you include my wife. How do I get to a place where I can receive that daily? Wow. That seems like a lot.
- The stakes are high for not having access to regular exhortation. Sin is deceitful. Without exhortation, I can be deceived by sin into thinking I'm living righteously when really I'm not. I never want to be there!
- Who has enough access to me and my family to be able to see what's going on and regularly exhort me accordingly?
Similarly, Proverbs 17:10 says,
A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.
Proverbs says a lot about fools and being open to correction. I can point to several people I know personally who have been a fool, closed to exhortation, and experienced consequences in their lives as a result. Their foolish behavior is so plain and obvious to almost everyone else, yet they can't (won't?) see it. I don't want to be a fool!
So, a few weeks ago, I reached out to 11 men to say, "Hey, if you see something in me or my family that you feel I should address, please let me know. Present what you see so I can wrestle with it."
Thankfully, one guy took me up on that so far, and it was a good, honest conversation.
But I'm still not even close to experiencing this daily. I'm not even sure what that looks like or how to turn it into a regular rhythm. I think it starts with continuing to build relationships with godly men and their families and asking them for it. We don't currently have a culture of his in our society, so I likely need to continue to ask for it, too.
👉 Do you have any thoughts on how we can make exhortation a more regular experience in our Christian faith and personal growth? How do we assemble a personal board of critics, who do so in love, of course? Please comment below. I'd love to wrestle through this with anyone who has an idea.
