7 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Children

One of the best places where I learn leadership and management skills is in my home. Books, seminars, and podcasts are helpful, but my wife and seven children are my best teachers.

Here are a few examples of what I've learned from my kids and how they've impacted how I lead others at work.

1. Authentic Presence Matters: When I'm zoned out during dinner conversations with kids, they let me know. "Dad, you're not listening!" Whether I'm at dinner or in an executive meeting, leadership is about bringing my whole self into each moment. My kids can sense when I'm not fully present in the conversation. So can my co-workers. Leadership is a commitment to authentic engagement no matter where I'm connecting with people.
2. Stay Curious: My seven-year-old's relentless "Why?" questions remind me to resist settling for surface explanations. Leaders don't only position themselves as answer providers but sometimes as fellow explorers. The questions I ask often matter more than the answers I provide. As Steve Jobs famously said, "Stay curious." Both my kids and good leaders regularly take his advice.
3. Vulnerability Creates Connection: When my son loses his Jiu Jitsu match or my daughter's pillow fort falls apart, sharing in disappointment together creates bonds between us. I've discovered that acknowledging mistakes and expressing uncertainty doesn't diminish leadership authority—it strengthens it by creating a space that feels safe.
4. Celebrate Unique Gifts: Each of my seven children flourishes differently—some through competition, others through collaboration, still others through creative expression. Leadership isn't about creating uniformity but about recognizing and nurturing diverse expressions of excellence.
5. Navigate Fairness vs. Equality: Parenting seven children teaches me that equal treatment isn't always fair treatment. Different children require different approaches based on their needs and development. Leaders recognize that we provide team members with what they individually need to succeed, not necessarily identical treatment.
6. Model What Matters: My children rarely follow my instructions as consistently as they mirror my behavior. The leadership culture I create at home and at work flows primarily from what I embody, not what I espouse. People follow the path I walk better than the path I point toward.
7. Consistency Builds Trust: When I tell my child that I will tuck them into bed, get distracted, and the next day get the question, "Why didn't you tuck me in last night?" it reminds me that trust is built through the accumulated weight of kept promises, no matter how small. Leaders understand that integrity in the small moments creates the foundation for trust.

Perhaps the greatest insight my seven children have taught me is this:

Leadership isn't about position or authority, but about the responsibility of nurturing potential and creating spaces where others can become their best selves, whether they're small children discovering the world or team members tackling complex challenges.

Wrestling through parenthood has made me not just a better father, but a more genuine and effective leader.