The KONY 2012 video has definitely hit the viral mark at almost 33 million views in only a few short days. Despite being a half hour long and breaking most of the rules for viral video, it’s been circulating the Internet thanks to its emotional plea, even if it’s mostly untrue.

As with any content that goes viral, creating something that people willingly share is very difficult and usually accidental, but creating content that actually spurs people from being a passive observer to an active participant that contributes to a solution is even more rare, almost unheard of.

We have a tendency to give something a lot of attention until something else draws us away from that. Is anyone still thinking about the earthquake that hit Haiti two and a half years ago? Are people still acting on all the government’s injustice there?

I want to create content that actually moves people to an action beyond clicking the Tweet or Like button. I’m more interested in “changing behaviors” than in “sharing behaviors” and studying what influences that in online video.

One of the first things we did was start engaging in as many of the conversations surrounding our video as possible. That included responding to hundreds of YouTube comments, thousands of tweets, Facebook posts, and more! It was a lot of work and, honestly, it took several of us many hours just to keep up with it.

Why did we put forth such an effort to engage with the social media fans who were seeing our content? Because we want to communicate to everyone, whether they’re just observing or actually engaging, that we’re interested in building relationships. We’re not just here to push our content out there for others to consume — we’re about building community. When viewers see that personal response from us, they turn from being fans to being loyal evangelists for our community.

Last week a friend of mine tweeted about a TV pilot show he saw on TV. The show replied personally to his tweet and thanked him for his support. Guess who is a huge fan of the show now!

A few days ago my wife saw a major music artist in concert and tweeted a picture of the show, mentioning how much she enjoyed it. Later she received a personal reply from the artist thanking her for the picture and that she was glad my wife had a good time. Guess who is a huge fan of that artist now!

Remember that social media must be social. There are so many voices shouting into this space that if you really want to stand out you have to show your audience that you can first listen.

The cost of permission

Traditional marketing is mostly about finding places where your audiences’ eyes are and paying for permission to put your message there. For the most part, there’s no relationship, no trust, no engagement. At best, you’re hoping that repetition and the perceived need your ad creates will lead to a purchase. Thus, you spread your message across TV, newspapers, magazines, website banners, billboards, mailings, and various other ways.

Marketing in social media is a completely different approach. Your audiences’ eyes are online where you want your message to be present, but you cannot simply pay for permission to put your message in social media. Sure, you can buy an ad on Facebook or pay Twitter to promote your tweet, but that is just another traditional medium to shout your message. It’s not social.

Social media is personal

People use Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and other social networks to engage with friends, family, and people they admire. It’s a social space where interruptions and spam are not tolerated. Unlike TV, newspapers, magazines, website banners, billboards, and mailings where you pay to enter their space, in social media you have to be invited into their space. And even once you’re invited, they still have absolute control to kick you out at any moment for any reason.

The permission to have your message invited to be in front of people in social media is a privilege that is significantly more valuable than the price per click on a Facebook ad. Each person who follows you on Twitter, likes your Facebook Page and subscribes to your blog is giving you a checkmark of credibility and trust. At the most, it’s someone who believes in your organization and is willing to engage. At the least, it’s someone who is curious and is willing to hang around a bit to see what you’re all about.

Listen, don’t shout

The biggest mistake many organizations make after they’re invited into someone’s social space is forgetting to be social. Tweeting links to your product or services is not social. Without prior engagement with your audience, it feels like spam. Most people may be forgiving at first, but do it a couple more times and you’ll quickly be unfollowed and unliked.

There is so much noise in social media that few people are actually being heard. Everyone is shouting and few people are listening. If you want to be heard, you must first be one of the organizations that listens.

Listen by engaging with the people in your niche by adding value to conversations. Respond to random people who are asking questions, offer help and support for a product even if it isn’t yours, help spread helpful articles and videos, etc. People do not connect with an organization as well as they connect with a person, so be personable, be approachable, be friendly, use humor, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Be social and add value to their social network feeds.

You must earn a voice, respect, and trust before your promotional plugs will even be seen. And then, not only will it be seen, but people who have grown to respect you will also volunteer their voice to help you spread the word. And we all know word-of-mouth is the most powerful form of marketing.

Rethink marketing intentions

Through everything you do in social media, make it clear that you love connecting with your customers, helping them however you can, and that you want to engage with what they’re doing beyond your product or service. It should be clear that you want to use social media to make yourself more available to them and they should feel that you actually appreciate connecting with them.

For example, when many businesses start building their social presence, they default to “bribing” their mailing lists to follow them online. They’ll offer some sort of promotion to a couple random people who follow them or like their page. This isn’t an entirely bad idea, but the philosophy behind it can often hinder the social initiative they’re seeking to create. Customers on your list may already be skeptical that you’re just trying to build another marketing list, so businesses must be careful to not to even unintentionally communicate that this is for the purpose of creating another promotional initiative online. Instead, a more social approach is to make sure it’s for the purpose of giving back to the people who have already given your organization so much. And then accurately communicate it as such. What’s subtly communicated in this approach is vastly different from what’s communicated in the former approach.

Remember, you’re requesting permission for people to invite you in to their personal (and often private) space. Help them welcome you into that space willingly and then earn your keep.

Capitalize by engaging

Shouting your message to an audience online that’s not listening works against you, not only because your message no longer positive to them, but because it’s something they’ve blocked out. Your message isn’t even neutral anymore! That’s why it’s so important to always engage, be personable, and listen more than you shout.

Social media is different than traditional promotional mediums because it’s social and it must remain social if you want to earn respect and, thus, sales. Don’t act like a salesperson; act like a friend in business. See how you can help them before promoting yourself. That perceived connection will bring you to the top of their list when they’re ready to seek the solutions that you provide.

This video is all well and good, but I think asking, “What’s the ROI of social media?” is like asking, “What’s the ROI of our staff meetings?” We all know it’s important and necessary, but trying to measure it exactly is like trying to measure the quality of our relationships, except business want to know how valuable the relationships are to them. This feels like a very anti-social approach to relationships to me. Anyone who approaches relationships asking, “What’s the return on this relationship for me?” is probably not someone who will genuinely and authentically build relationships.

To really thrive in social media, businesses need to remember that social media is primarily social. Use it to give attention more than you use it to try to get attention.

Think of social media ROI as, “Return On Influence.” Influence is a very ellusive thing to measure, but that’s okay — just continue to be as influential as you can to make the world a better place for the people who follow you online.

(ht socialtimes for the video)