Today Shawn Shoup joined us for our LIVE YM Talk and talked with us about rest, setting boundaries, saying “no,” time management, priorities and burnout in youth ministry. Shawn and several others who joined the conversation shared a lot about their own experiences in ministry and just how difficult it can be to maintain healthy boundaries in ministry. It was a great discussion with questions, advice, and helpful comments from many people. Definitely worth listening to whether you feel like you struggle in this area or not.

Some of the things we talked about:

• What leads to burnout
• Advice for setting boundaries
• Why we feel that we should overwork
• The self-inflicted pressure of trying to perform
• And a lot more…

You can listen to the whole conversation below or grab it in iTunes.

Play this episode

Subscribe to LIVE YM Conversations in iTunes

Next week’s discussion

July 24: Next week Brian Eberly is our featured guest. He’ll share from his recent experiences about, “The importance of building a youth ministry team.”

Join our next LIVE Youth Ministry Conversation!

A year and a half ago I took an inventory of my life and wrote a list of how I will crash and burn(out) in ministry. Since then, I frequently receive emails from youth workers who feel maxed out, tired and drained. Here are some common recommendations I make on how to reduce stress in ministry.

11. Take regular breaks.
Ministry workers are usually workaholics. There are appropriate times when you need to settle down and crunch through some work, but when it’s done, leave your workplace a couple minutes. Go outside, walk around, and get some sun. You’ll be amazed how refreshed you feel coming back. A 10-15 minute break outside can really energize you to finish the rest of your work in much better time and in higher quality, too.

10. Work when you focus best.
It seems like most people I know in ministry are early-morning people. They love waking up before the sun and hitting the office early. If that’s what works best for you, then do it! However, some people, like me, think mornings are a result of the fall in Genesis 3 and can’t function until lunch time. I honestly work best between 10:00 PM and 2:00 AM. I stay focused and tend to crank out my best work during that time. Find out what works best for you and capitalize on it.

9. Address the work at home.
Stacks of bills, car maintenance, yard work, and home repairs can really stress you out, especially if it seems like everything else going on in life is always a higher priority. If tasks start piling up at home, take an extra day off to get it all done and set your mind free.

8. Eat healthy.
Give your body food that will keep it well nourished. Balance your carbs, fruits, vegetables, and grains. Junk food will drain your system, making you tired and unfocused. A sugar rush may give you small bursts of energy, but the crash at the end will keep you going back for more sugar all day long.

7. Stay in shape.
It’s clinically proven that regular exercise reduces stress, gives you more energy, improves your sleep at night, and helps you stay more alert during the day. There’s really no excuse not to stay in shape, especially for people in ministry. And if you have tight muscles and achy joints, see a massage therapist or a chiropractor.

6. Use your vacation days.
Many of us may be happy with our jobs, our ministries, and the work we do, but there are always small things about each job that we hate. That’s just a part of life. Over time, those annoyances can build until they become frustrating. Make sure you take a break, time to rest, time to get away, and leave it all behind. If your ministry can’t function without you for a couple days to a week on a regular basis, the ministry is way too focused on you and is unhealthy.

5. Keep ministry simple.
Lots of activity and responsibilities may make you feel more important than you really are, but it’s a guaranteed formula for stress and burnout. Know your limits and be realistic. If you have too much on your plate, delegate some of it to others or simply cut it out of your life. In my ministry, if no one steps up to help or take over something I don’t have time to do or shouldn’t be a priority for my limited time, it simply doesn’t get done. It’s really that easy.

4. Listen to worship music.
I don’t mean just have it playing in the background, although that might help. Sit down and really listen to it. Let the Holy Spirit work in your life as you spend personal time in worship, thinking, reflecting, and meditating on Him. All the other stressful things in your life pale in comparison to a healthy reminder of who God is.

3. Say “No!”
I don’t know why ministry workers feel like they have to say yes to so many things. Maintain boundaries on your life! I’m a youth pastor and I only go to about half of our weekly youth meetings. I work hard to recruit and train solid volunteers that work great whether I’m there or not. If the ministry is focused around you, you’re doing something wrong. You shouldn’t be out more than 3 nights a week maximum! Be at home with your family.

2. Maintain healthy relationships with your spouse.
Remember, your primary ministry is to your family, especially your spouse. Don’t wait until the relationship starts feeling dry to do something about it. Maintain the relationship so you never get to that point in the first place. Spend alone time together, go on dates, read the Word together, do random romantic acts, be sexually active.

1. Focus on the Lord.
Regular time with the Lord is critical, but it often seems like it’s the first thing we set aside. Spend time with God on a personal level and also make it a priority for your family. You can’t serve the Lord and follow Him without knowing where He’s leading you. Otherwise, you fall into a stale rut of just “doing” ministry, rather than leading a movement of God’s people.

What other tips do you have to reducing stress in ministry? What do you do to recharge and stay focused?

I’m going to be honest: every item I list here is based on tendencies I’ve noticed in myself over the past several months. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, maybe you’ve even noticed some of them pop up in my previous writings. When I take a step back and write about it, it’s so easy to see how foolish I am. Burning out in ministry is not a sudden event in time that will take me by surprise, like a bursting firecracker on the 4th of July. Instead, it’s a slow process over time, like holding a burning match. If I’m not careful these things will eventually creep up on me, burn me, and render my leadership useless.

I doubt I’m alone in this. Here’s how you and I will crash and burn-out in ministry:

1. Ignore spending time in the Word and in prayer. Ministry is easy — you can do it all in your own strength. It shouldn’t be based on God anyway. Spend all your time teaching others how to develop their relationship with God instead.

2. Accept responsibility for everything. Say “yes” to whatever is asked of you and your time. It doesn’t matter if it could easily be handled by a volunteer, take it on anyway because you’re the guy they pay to do it. Besides, there may be no one else willing or available to do it besides you, which obviously indicates how important it is to everyone else.

3. Become emotionally attached to every situation. Whenever someone has a need, be the first to jump in, provide all the emotional support they need and rescue them from the problem. After all, everyone needs a savior.

4. Always serve God in ministry. This is so important that you must sacrifice all personal down-time and fill it with good things like meetings, events, Bible studies, evangelism, mission trips, prayer groups, small groups, and knitting groups.

5. Attempt to control everything. Control all the planning, the results, the future, the people, the workplace, the weather and God. You are the sustainer of the ministry on whom it is all built. If you take your eyes off of any of anything it will collapse and fail miserably.

6. Base your self-worth on the “success” of your ministry. You’re investing your life into this ministry thing! How it grows and flourishes indicates how important you are and how pleased God is with your labor. If your ministry is struggling, there must be something wrong with you.

7. Feed spiritual consumerism. So-and-so left the church and is attending the “mega-church” down the street because they have a better youth ministry. Now you need to quickly compete by offering the same programs but better. Otherwise, the entire congregation will migrate and leave you out of a job.

8. Focus your ministry on programs. This may come as a result of #7. Remember that vision and relationships are secondary to programming. Look at Jesus for example: His ministry was all about getting things done, not about growing disciples through relationships or communicating His vision for the world.

9. Dwell on all the problems. So it turns out that your ministry is the only one in the world that isn’t perfect. Let it consume your thoughts, your heart and your emotions. It’s important to focus on internal problems so there’s no time left to reach the lost souls that are dying all around.

10. Avoid transparency at all costs. Vulnerability brings the potential for rejection, criticism, and people losing respect for you. As a church leader, everyone must think you’re perfect, strong and invincible. Otherwise, the perfect people in your church will have no reason to follow you.

11. Focus only on what’s in front of you. Dreaming a huge vision for the future only makes people feel uncomfortable, probably because of item #5. Passion can become contagious and take the ministry in scary and risky directions, so it’s best to avoid these dreams altogether. It’s always safer to wander aimlessly by staring at your feet than it is to walk toward God’s beautiful horizon and risk tripping.