It’s ironic that churches are all about promoting change in people’s lives, but change in its own ministry is often met with great resistance. The church strives for changing lives, but rarely for changing ministry. This often frustrates youth workers to no end because we’re typically young, arrogant, full of new ideas, adventurous and willing to take risks if for no other reason than to get a good adrenaline rush.

Youth ministry, more than any other area of ministry, continually changes. The faces in our youth groups change, the teenagers themselves are in a constant state of physical and emotional change, youth culture changes month to month, and often we spend a considerable amount of time thinking of ways to make this week’s youth meeting different from the last. It’s no wonder that youth ministries are naturally used to change, but we have to remember that youth ministry is unique from the rest of the church in this regard. Change is never neutral for the church. We cannot promote change without expecting some side affects.

Why do churches change so slowly?

• Churches view themselves as guardians of tradition. They see a lot of change around them and most of it is negative. Unfortunately, they become guardians of cultural traditions, not Biblical or doctrinal traditions. Whenever churches have a history that they appreciate, there is an emotional bond to hold on to that.
• We operate like “family” in church. When we’re hired, we sometimes feel like an outsider for a while because there’s a system in place that is unfamiliar to us. It takes some time to learn the system, just like we’d expect if we joined a new family. Families are weird sometimes.
• We have a fuzzy bottom line. Many churches are wrestling with big questions, like, “What does success look like?” The church’s vision is often weak, it’s sense of identity is unclear and it’s direction is stagnant. When they hire a new youth pastor, they do so with a certain set of criteria, but what criteria will they use in two years to say, “We’re really glad our new youth pastor is here.” The same criteria or something different? The bottom line is fuzzy.
• Church members are tired. “Church system people” are tired of change. Most people in their 50s and older are scared and tired of change. They want church, unlike their workplace, to feel stable. Youth pastors often don’t have enough track record to compel these people to invite change. When we say to someone, “I have a new idea,” we have to realize two things. First, change will require work from them and most people are already tired. Secondly, when we suggest change, it will require more work for us. We can only make it through the change if we believe that the short-term pain will be worth it in the end.
• Few pastors consider themselves gifted leaders. Interesting, but true. Pastors see themselves as caregivers, teachers, and relational ministers, not always as leaders. Thus, some pastors lack the courage and desire to implement change in the first place. They feel quite comfortable doing what they love and are best at — loving people.
• We have an intergenerational church. Some youth pastors become so frustrated that we leave the church, call ourselves church planters and start our own church thinking that we can finally build the church of our dreams without the older people who resist our ideas for change. What we fail to realize is that if the church actually lasts, in 20 years it’ll be intergenerational again. The church was meant to be intergenerational! We need to embrace the diversity and learn to work with our brothers and sisters in Christ rather than canning them in order to build an institution of our own ideologies. If we don’t like the diversity here, we’ll hate heaven!

Church people are guardians of tradition. If we inadvertently communicate that their old way is bad and that our new way is good, the resistance will skyrocket. Don’t do that! We need to be careful how we approach change. Both the process and communication are huge. As youth workers, we tend to be driven by the results, not the process. We’re excited and motivated to rush for the end result, but if we ever want to see that end result, we have to be willing to progress slowly down the path that will take us there, always communicating and expressing value and appreciation for the old idea while embracing the new. Remember, we’re not leaders if no one is following, so go slow.

Read the rest of this series:
Navigating the church system (1 of 5): Youth workers need help!
Navigating the church system (2 of 5): Leadership tensions
Navigating the church system (4 of 5): Understanding the adoption curve
Navigating the church system (5 of 5): Common mistakes by youth pastors

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The above material is based on Tiger McLuen’s seminar, “Surviving as a youth worker in an imperfect church.” Used and edited with permission. Thanks, Tiger!

In the summer of 2000 I was ecstatic to lead my very first youth group at a church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. With two years of Bible college and a 1-year internship under my belt, I thought I was ready to take this group by storm and radically change every life for Christ. I was pumped! Although it started well despite my unrealistic expectations, I quickly learned a very important lesson about ministry leadership: almost everyone has a different idea of what ministry looks like and how it should be done and somehow I needed to work with them all. Everyone in the church agreed with my game plan at the very beginning, but only a few short weeks later I was so frustrated, hurt and angry that I wanted to quit and go home. The pastor asked me to do all the “dirty work” he didn’t want to do, parents complained to the deacons that the group wasn’t growing larger yet, the kids wanted me to go play basketball, the elderly banned us from half the church building because we broke too much stuff, and no one thought I was putting in enough work hours. There was so much tension and opposing expectations from so many different people that I felt I might collapse under all the pressure.

The tensions of leadership
1. The tension of results. (What?) This tension comes from various sources. Some of it comes from the people in our ministry who want to know what we’re doing and what it’s going to produce. Other times it is self-inflicted, thinking, “I need to produce results so people think I’m worth something in this position.” Unfortunately, attendance growth become the default results we look for, but it could also be a myriad of other things, such as a perceived level of acceptance and approval from church members and other community youth workers. We need to lead with people who push for results, results, and more results.

2. The tension of relationships. (Who?) There’s also time that needs to be invested into people. Of course there’s students, but there’s also parents, our Sr. Pastor, church members, other co-workers, community organizations, businesses that offer donations, school teachers, athletic coaches, not to mention our own families. Spending adequate time building all these relationships could be a full-time job all by itself!

3. The tension of the process. (How?) Results are one thing, but getting those results is a tension of formulating a plan and getting others on board. Building relationships also takes a plan. Nothing just happens by itself. If the ministry is going exist at all, it will require that there’s a process for reaching goals, even if the goals aren’t explicitly stated.

A youth pastor’s relationships
As leaders it’s critical that we have a healthy self-image because others will often be more than happy to challenge it. If it’s dependent on what other people think and say, navigating the church system will be impossible. We’ll always be running around with our tail between our legs, trying to please everyone, saying YES to everything, and burning out faster than a cardboard match. That’s not being a leader — that’s following everyone else.

When our own self-identity is secure, all the other relationships surround it.

• Students. Most of the time when youth workers are released from their jobs it’s because we’re struggling in an area outside of the kids. We aren’t usually fired because we’re bad with students. Actually, this is usually where we excel because the reason we go into youth ministry in the first place is because we love kids so much. Most of our problems in ministry lie elsewhere.
• Parents. We have a unique relationship with parents because they pay our salary, they have a clear perception of what they want from the youth ministry and we try our best to partner with them. When one of those latter two aspects gets a little out of sync, it can be a big mess.
• Sr. Pastor. The greatest variable to a youth pastor’s long-term success is the relationship with the Sr. Pastor. They will either be our biggest ally or our worst enemy. Respect their wisdom and communicate often.
• Other staff. Hopefully our co-workers see us as professionals because we treat them with respect and handle ourselves with maturity. Sometimes we have to wear a different hat with each person, but that goes along with the ministry territory anyway.
• Other adults. There are committee members, parents, leadership team, board members, volunteers, senior citizens, etc. We speak at women’s meetings, board meetings, and annual meetings not because it’s just another “speed bump,” but because that’s where we earn respect and establish credibility in their eyes.
• Peers. Hopefully we all have personal friends whether they’re ministry related or not. If we don’t have those personal friendships, then we need to make some friends outside the church ASAP!
• Family. Perhaps of highest priority is the wife and then the children.
• Community. The impression you leave in the community is the impression they will develop about your church and its ministry.
• Christ. All of these relationships are encompassed by the most vital relationship of all — our personal relationship with Christ.

Navigating the church system requires that we keep the tensions in check and our relationships healthy.

Read the rest of this series:
Navigating the church system (1 of 5): Youth workers need help!
Navigating the church system (3 of 5): Why churches change slowly
Navigating the church system (4 of 5): Understanding the adoption curve
Navigating the church system (5 of 5): Common mistakes by youth pastors

———————————————————————————
The above material is based on Tiger McLuen’s seminar, “Surviving as a youth worker in an imperfect church.” Used and edited with permission. Thanks, Tiger!

by guest blogger, Bill Allison

Are You Controlling Your Emotions or Are Your Emotions Controlling You?
It is very important to note that before David had victory over his outward circumstances, he first had victory over his own emotions. Controlling our emotions, whether we feel like it or not, is a very biblical idea: “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28, KJ21). A city without walls is a sitting duck for invaders. Talk about trouble! This is why God tells us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). When we encourage ourselves in the Lord, like David did, we are guarding our hearts.

David’s Self-Encouragement Cycle: A Model for YOU!
Instead of letting depression, despair and discouragement rule his behavior, David ignored his discouraged emotions and did what he knew to be right, prayed to God, listened to what God said and then immediately did what God told him to do. Would you like to start a journey out of the pit of despair and discouragement? Would you like to experience God’s power in the midst of a heavy heart? Would you like to learn the skill of encouraging yourself in the Lord so that you can defeat the discouraging darts the enemy is throwing at you to keep you from effective ministry to others? Then I would challenge you to follow David’s example:

1. Do what you know is right, whether you feel like it or not.
2. Ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.
3. Listen to what God says to you, whether you feel like it or not.
4. Obey what God says to you immediately, whether you feel like it or not.

The Ray of Hope that Can Keep You Swimming in Discouraging Waters
In the book, Becoming a Person of Influence, John Maxwell and Jim Dornan tell of a fascinating experiment performed on laboratory rats to measure their motivation to live under different circumstances. Scientists placed a rat into a jar of water that was in total darkness. The scientists found that the rat could swim a little more than three minutes in complete darkness before it gave up and drowned. Then the scientists tried the exact same experiment with one minor variation: they allowed one tiny ray of light to shine into the jar of water where the rat was swimming. With one tiny ray of light, the rat kept swimming for thirty-six hours, over 700 times longer than the rat in complete darkness.

I totally understand that we, as humans, are not laboratory animals. However, I still think there is a lesson in here for us as youth leaders. When you follow David’s example and allow the sources of your discouragement to drive you to seeking God, praying to God, listening to God and obeying God, you unleash God’s power to shine one little tiny ray of hope into your discouraging situation. And that one tiny ray of hope can keep you swimming 700 times longer than if you opted to let the darkness of discouragement consume you.

A Final Challenge to Encourage Yourself in the Lord
The research conducted by Dr. Robert Clinton, Professor of Leadership at Fuller Theological Seminary, has absolutely frightening implications for us as Christian leaders. Clinton says, “Seventy percent of leaders don’t finish well.” It seems that most of us will not finish the race well. If Dan Webster is correct, the majority of us who do not finish well will eventually be sucked under by currents of discouragement until we are finally so exhausted that we just can’t come up for one more breath of hope.

However, my message to you is that we can experience hope in the midst of our deepest discouragement if we dare to be like David, a man after God’s own heart, and do something radical, simple and childlike. Pray. If we learn to encourage ourselves in the Lord, in the spirit of David, we can eventually deal the deathblow to discouragement.

Get this series in PDF format for FREE
If you’ve read all parts of this series, I’d love to bless you with a FREE PDF that includes the entire series and application pages. All you have to do is email me at bill@cadreministries.com, put I’M NOT QUITTING in the subject line, and write me a brief email telling me how God used this series to encourage you. Then I’ll send you the FREE PDF!

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison

David’s Discouraging Dilemma
In I Samuel 30 we read of the horribly discouraging day David and his men experienced. While David and his men were away from home (Ziklag) fighting their enemies, the Amalikites (not to be confused with the Hittites, Canaanites, or the Mosquito-bites), burned Ziklag and took all the women and children captive. When David and his men arrived home in Ziklag, they were shook to the very core of their hearts as they realized their loss. The Bible says that at this point, “David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep” (I Samuel 30:4). Can you relate? That, my friend, is discouragement in all its ugly glory. And just when you think things can’t get any more discouraging, in comes another heart-rending wave of fresh discouragement that takes a big bite out of your soul. Things go from bad to worse for David when his men started “talking of stoning him: each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters” (I Samuel 30:6). All of this caused David to be “greatly distressed” (v.6). Have you been there recently? Have you recently experienced a mother of all bad days?

David’s Divine Deliverance
What David did next is what separates those who end up as ministerial road kill from those who rise and continue walking (limping?) down the narrow road. With his heart securely held by the sharp talons of discouragement, we read these amazingly insightful words pregnant with leadership lessons for the observant reader: “But David encouraged himself in the Lord his God” (v.6, KJ21). It’s critical to note that dealing with discouragement is a self-leadership issue and skill — for David encouraged himself in the Lord. Did you get that? Everyone else was talking of killing David (talk about a bad day), but “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”

First Samuel 30:7-8 shows us the secrets to David’s success in defeating discouragement, lessons that we as leaders today must take careful steps to apply to our own lives lest we be another statistic at the devilish hands of discouragement. I want to highlight four lessons that we need to apply to our lives when we are battling discouragement. These four lessons, when we apply them to our lives, can help us learn the skill of encouraging ourselves in the Lord.

The Self-Encouragement Cycle

LESSON #1: Do what you know to be right, whether or not you feel like it.
The first step David took out of discouragement and into self-encouragement was that he asked the priest to bring him his ephod (v.7). An ephod is an article of clothing worn by priests and in this case is indicative of David’s intent to seek God. Simply put, I believe the first step out of discouragement is when you and I do what we know is right (i.e., seek God) whether we feel like it or not. The context of this story gives every indication that David probably did not feel like doing what was right. Remember: David wept until he had no strength left (I Samuel 30:4)! He probably felt more like giving up and having a pity party. But David makes the choice to do what is right, not what he felt.

If you allow your wounded emotions to control your behavior, you will never be able to rise above that which is discouraging you. David made a choice, made a proactive decision, to not let his feelings control his behavior and ultimately bring about his ruin. David’s heart began to come up from the bottom the moment he made the choice to seek God, though he still had a long way to go out of the labyrinth of despair.

As trite and worn out as it may seem, it’s absolutely essential that I point out that when we are in the depths of despair and discouragement, we should seek God. Obvious? I know we know this, but I’m not so sure that we do this! (See John 13:17 and Matthew 7:24-27.) Don’t we have a tendency to go to other people first? Or just shut down, beat ourselves up and play martyr? If discouragement can keep us in the bondage of our negative emotions and from seeking God, it will ultimately bring us down. So, like David, I challenge you to rebel against your feelings of discouragement, take a step of faith and seek God whether or not you actually feel like seeking Him. Call for your ephod!

LESSON #2: Ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.
The next step David took on the way out of discouragement and into the light of self-encouragement was that he “inquired of the Lord” (v.8). Allison translation: David said, “Help me, God!” I love non-pretentious and gut-level prayers. And this is precisely how we see the discouraged David pray! No flowery eloquence required when you are discouraged — David directly addresses his specific heart’s concerns: “Shall I pursue this raiding party [the Amalekites who ravaged his home and carried off his loved ones]? Will I overtake them?” This is bottom line praying from a desperate man. So whatever it is that’s currently breaking your heart and weighing you down like an anchor around your soul, address those specific issues in a straight shooting prayer to God. Cry out to God about it and be totally honest with Him.

“This Day Stinks God!”
Once I got a call from the parents of one of my students who was really struggling with life and, consequently, was very discouraged. I sat in my car with this student for about an hour. I just listened to this guy pour his heart out. He was hurting, depressed and discouraged in a big way. At the end of our time together, I asked him if he would pray to God about the sources of his troubles. He agreed to pray. We bowed our heads right there in the car, and he prayed, “Heavenly Father, thank you for this beautiful day…” I broke in immediately. I calmly objected, “Dude, if what you have shared with me for the last hour is really troubling you as much as you said it is, this day is anything but beautiful to you right now.” He smiled and laughed at himself. Then he paused, bowed his head, and said, “God, I’m hating my life right now…” and went on to ask God for specific help to his specific problems and the sources of his discouragement. The point is that when you are discouraged, you, like David, must honestly ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.

Oxygen for Your Gasping Soul
The last thing I want to do in this article is to insult your spiritual intelligence, especially if you are one who is discouraged right now. I can hear the almost angry thoughts racing through some of your discouraged minds. “Come on, Allison, is that the best you can do? I’m totally discouraged and you just tell us to pray about it? Is that all you have, worn out Christian clichés and pious platitudes? How simplistic can you be?” I admit that sometimes when I pray about things they get much worse and that’s even more discouraging. Sometimes, many times, nothing on the outside changes. However, there is something profoundly significant that happens on the inside of us when we “inquire of the Lord” in the midst of our darkest times of discouragement, though we may not even be able to see or feel it at the time. What happens? Little by little, the power of God is unleashed into our lives. Through prayer, a little oxygen is poured into our gasping souls. It may not seem like much at the time, but it’s that little bit of prayer-generated oxygen for the soul that keeps your spirit breathing, alive and hopeful. What is the alternative? A slow suffocating death by discouragement.

LESSON #3: Listen to what God says to you, whether you feel like it or not.
God did not seem to be put off by David’s direct, specific plea for help. Amazingly God answered David’s specific straightforward requests with very specific straightforward answers. God told David, “Pursue them. You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue” (v.8). Perhaps even more amazing is not that God responded to David’s specific requests, but that David heard what God said.

My own experience and journey has taught me that the process of hearing what God is saying takes much time in quiet, reflection, prayer, the Word and in godly counsel of a few trusted mentors. It’s in this stage of recovery that God turns up the heat to cook our character and that makes this part of the process very painful. But it’s absolutely critical that we try to hear from God when we are discouraged rather than just giving up in the process. Furthermore, we need to listen to what God says to us no matter how painful it may sound at the time. God wants to give us specific instructions about the specific sources of our discouragement. We must work at listening to him.

So when you are in the depths of discouragement, pray your heart out, but don’t be so distressed that you can’t hear what God may be saying to you. Be sure to listen for a response from God. Search his Word. Quiet your heart and be still. Listen to the counsel of people who are Spirit-controlled. Check everything you think you are hearing against the Word of God. If what you think you hear God saying to you does not jive with the Word of God, then go back to listening. However, if there is congruence between what you think God is saying to you and the Word of God, whether you like hearing it or not, then move on to lesson #4.

LESSON #4: Obey what God tells you to do immediately, whether you feel like it or not.
When God responded to David, David quickly responded to God by obeying. David took action. There is a time for prayer, but once God has given the clear marching orders it’s time for action! When you take action on God’s directions, you allow God to step into your life and the sources of your discouragement. William H. Murray puts it this way: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way.” When you obey God, whether you feel like it or not, you allow God to unleash his power into your life and encourage your heart and soul.

However, if God shows you what you need to do and you refuse to take action (i.e., you allow your feelings of discouragement to control your behavior) you will not experience a lift in your spirit. You may experience the pains of divine discipline. When David put immediate action to God’s marching orders, God’s power was unleashed into his depressing situation and, before the day was over, David came home with all that was previously lost and more (I Samuel 30:18-20).

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison
While everyone has highs and lows, it has been my experience and observation that church leaders seem to have a proclivity for higher highs and much lower lows. My own ministry experience has always been a mountain top experience. Either I’ve been on the top of the mountain or the mountain has been on top of me, but either way ministry has always been a mountain top experience.

When our lives and ministries are moving forward, we feel elated and unstoppable. (True confession time: Sometimes when the ministry news is good, I literally SCREAM and dance around my office in what has become known in our family and ministry as “The Cadre Praise Conga.” I line up my kids and we go around in circles singing, “Da-da-da-da-da—praise!” My teenage kids no longer participate in this celebration. Some folks just don’t know how to worship God! If I’m alone when good ministry news comes, I might even sing James Brown’s song, “I Feel Good.”) However, when our hearts are heavy and discouraged, our emotions plummet us to the deepest and darkest levels of despair. Frankly, I can cycle through the highest and lowest of leadership and ministry emotions in a single day. But what else would you expect from a guy who dances in his office?

Ministry Can Be Worse
You don’t have to be involved in ministry at any level very long before something or someone will sting the deepest part of your heart. You will get whacked! I’ve always found ministry situations particularly discouraging and emotionally disheartening because I expect a higher level of behavior from us as Christians. (See the Bible.) But the gossip, emotional terrorism and viciousness are often worse than many non-Christian environments in which I have worked. That, my friends, is discouraging and though it ought not be, it often is reality.

Discouragement from the Inside
As I write this, I am meeting with three ministry leaders from completely different ministries who don’t think they can hold on any longer. They are beat up, tired and wondering if it’s all worth it. I sat with a husband and wife who have served God faithfully for years. I listened to them pour out their horrendous story. We cried and prayed. No easy answers. No Christian clichés. Just tons of tough questions, soul searching, disappointment and discouragement.

Discouragement from the Outside
In addition to the inner turmoil and discouragement that is often a part of our experience in serving God in the church, there are outside extenuating factors that can exacerbate the sting of discouragement in our lives. Some ministry friends I know are struggling with extraordinary tragedies like children with cancer and brain tumors, and one friend’s four-year-old daughter was run over by a truck. Still other ministry partners are trying to negotiate the discouraging waters of rebelling teenagers and struggling marriages. When your inner strength is depleted and your outer world is crashing down on you, the discouragement is extremely overwhelming.

Discouragement: The Killer of Christian Leaders
Not long ago I attended a conference by Dan Webster. Webster cogently pointed out three common pitfalls that sidetrack leaders: laziness, temptation and discouragement. While what Webster had to say about all three of these leadership landmines was absolutely engaging, it was his comments concerning discouragement that resonated deeply with my heart. Webster pointed out that of the three leadership pitfalls, discouragement was the biggest killer of leaders in the church. He said, “Discouragement among Christian leaders is almost epidemic.” When he said this, God brought specific faces of leaders — vocational and volunteer — I know who are currently journeying through difficult personal, relational, internal, emotional, spiritual, financial or ministerial terrain these days. From there my mind drifted to specific leaders I know who are not only out of leadership and ministry but their very faith has been shipwrecked on the rocks of discouragement.

Dealing the Deathblow to Discouragement
If discouragement is the primary leadership landmine that is blowing up in the face of Christian leaders like you, then it is absolutely critical that you learn how to encourage yourself in the Lord. Why encourage yourself? You may have noticed that no one else is coming to your rescue. And, frankly, there is little someone else can do for you if you do not do it for yourself. Therefore, developing the skill of self-encouragement is seminal to your survival! And God, in His book, the Bible, shows us how to encourage ourselves during those times our spirit wants to scream mercy and give up. One episode in David’s life in particular gives us some insight on how we can defeat discouragement by developing the ability to encourage ourselves in the Lord. More on that coming in part three.

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison
I was twenty-two years old and in my last year of Bible College when I got a phone call from a senior pastor telling me that the vote to hire me as a church youth pastor was 35 to 5. I liked the 35 part—but was more than a little concerned about the 5 people who voted against the idea of me taking the position. When I told the senior pastor that I was a little worried about the 5 no votes, he said, “You have less no votes than I had when I accepted the call to be the senior pastor of this church!” So, with some apprehension and assurance from my senior pastor, I accepted the position.

During the very first week I served in that church as youth pastor, each of the people who voted against my coming to the church decided to drop in and visit me. They came into my office one at a time and said the most hurtful things—doing their absolute best to discourage me. (Have you ever noticed that some people in church seem to believe that discouragement and criticism are their spiritual gifts—and that they want to use them on you?) “Students will never like you,” one snorted as I imagined little horns starting to protrude from his head. Another told me in no uncertain terms that I was “out of the will of God” for accepting the position — and was so angry that she got her tail caught in the door of my office as she stormed out. Another held her pitchfork tightly and flatly said, “You will ruin this church.” With the exception of the horns, tail, and pitchfork — everything in this story is as it happened.

In all seriousness, to this day — twenty-three years later, I can still feel the sting of their words — though the hurt is not as sharp as it was once. Let me confess that I spent a full year of Sunday mornings dealing with my bitter emotions. On the outside, I appeared to be okay. But seeing “them” every Sunday wrecked me. Multiple times while my pastor was preaching his heart out, I would silently confess to God the vindictive thoughts that plagued my mind.

It’s no fun to lead when you feel like quitting. After a quarter-century of youth ministry, I know. That’s why I want to invite you to take this journey with me — via this special series we’re launching at Life in Student Ministry. We’ll begin to unpack the art and skill of leading when you want to quit. Why? Because I’m sick and tired of seeing the best and the brightest in youth ministry not only drop out of the ministry, but out of the faith. Hopefully, by the time this series is completed, you’ll be able to apply a clear and biblical strategy for dealing with the depression, despair, and discouragement that has come to be a part of the youth pastor experience. One thing is for sure. Discouragement and his ugly cousins, Despair and Depression, will try to sink their sharp bloody teeth into your very soul and take you down for the count. What’s up for grabs is: How will you deal with discouragement when it comes? Stay tuned…

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

1. Be passionate about your own personal relationship with Christ.
2. Develop and train volunteers who are also passionate about their relationship with Christ.
3. Hang out with kids and pray like crazy that your passion become contagious.
4. Expect the Holy Spirit do some awesome things to spiritually grow your kids through your influence.

(What, did you think this was about numerical growth? Are you a little disappointed that it’s not?)

The first point is this: it starts with us, the youth leaders. To take our kids to new levels of spiritual maturity means we have to be at that level first. I’m convinced that most Christianity is caught, not taught. We can stand up in front of a group and say a lot of good things about God and, although that’s significant, none of that will leave the impact that the presence of a passionate sold-out-for-God youth worker will who gives students a chance to see a relationship with God lived out in daily life.

The second point is that spiritual growth is ultimately a work of the Holy Spirit. There’s nothing we can do to force a kid to grow. The best we can do is pray like their lives depend on it (because they do) and seek the Lord’s wisdom in creating environments that facilitate spiritual growth. Beyond that, the best we can do is remain open for the Lord to use us however possible in communicating His Truth and let Him be the one that makes the Truth penetrate their hearts and souls.

What advice do you have for this youth worker?

A reader sent me this to me and we dialogged about it over email a couple times, but they would love to have your input, as well. Post your advice in the comments and thanks for your help!
 

His story:
Thought I would say thanks for your ten commandments. I have been sending them to a [church leader] here that has been a real not so pleasant person. He is a great businessman but really has been giving people struggles when it comes to being a leader of faith. He tends to tear people down now so that he can get through what he wants to accomplish. I am not really sure how to read this individual because he an be your biggest pal one minute and then turn on you the next. I am tired of trying to play his game. Do you have any advice?

Nigel Coates, a youth worker in Great Britain, posted a great chart comparing leaders that develop followers and leaders that develop leaders. He says this:

Is it better to develop leaders or followers? In reality most of us try to develop… “followers”, which in the long run is less effective than developing leaders.

Check out the comparison chart he posted between developing leaders vs developing followers. I need to evaluate this for myself and I’m also going to use this with my student leadership team.

There are several students in my new youth ministry who are great leaders and man, I wanna make sure they get all the training and experience they need to serve their peers! So, I’m starting a Student Leadership Team (SLT). I’ve never formed a team like this before and the church has never had a Student Leadership Team, so it’s a trial and error learning experience for both of us. Here’s my brainstorming so far. Any input or suggestions is greatly appreciated!

Purpose
To train, develop and equip godly student leaders to impact their generation for Christ.

Selection process
Sr. High students are nominated by the adult volunteer team and youth pastor based on the following qualifications:

• Potential leadership ability.
• Desire for spiritual and personal growth.
• Emotional, mental and spiritual maturity.
• Commitment to the student ministry at Alexandria Evangelical Covenant Church.
• Respect for peers and adults.
• Willingness to serve humbly and sacrificially.
• Teachable spirit.

Responsibilities
…of all students

• Attend monthly SLT Bible studies and accountability groups.
• Regularly attend church services, participate in worship and commit to tithing.
• Regularly attend youth group meetings and activities.
• Be diligent, faithful and dependable in individual areas of responsibly.
• Attend scheduled trainings, retreats, trips and special events for the SLT.
• Respectfully follow the leadership and instructions of the mentoring adult leader.
• Debrief with mentoring adult leader after exercising leadership responsibilities.
• Commit to regular prayer, Bible study, evangelism, personal worship, scripture memorization and accountability in these areas among other students on the SLT.
• Attend select adult volunteer meetings and trainings.
• Participate in problem-solving.
• Find areas of need in the youth ministry and offer suggestions for improvement.
• Always publicly support and protect the youth ministry, its leaders and decisions. Address frustrations and concerns privately with the youth pastor, mentor and SLT.
• Diffuse gossip, rumors and conflict.
• Be a leader before being a friend.
• Stay positive even when things go bad.
• Serve school by praying for it, connecting with other Christians, and meeting the new people.
• Intentionally find ways to encourage other students.
• Serve as Angel Tree camp counselors.
• Practice as many of these items as possible at home.

…of select individual students

• Lead a Bible study at school.
• Assist an adult volunteer in a small group as an apprentice.
• Prepare and lead aspects of youth meetings, including prayer times, announcements, games, Bible lessons, music, worship, lighting, PowerPoint, event registrations, etc.
• Intentionally build relationships with youth group visitors, record their contact information and follow-up later that week.
• Follow-up with students who have missed more than two- weeks of youth group or small groups.
• Serve in Childrens Ministry and Jr. High ministry.
• Get other students involved by leading a ministry team (drama or worship team, for example).
• Organize student involvement in Sunday morning services.
• Maintain music CD library system.
• Maintain a directory of contact info for the youth group.
• Website design, updates, forum moderation.
• Graphic design and video production for Bible lessons, ministries, and worship.
• Any other area as deemed appropriate by the youth pastor, mentors and student leader.

…of the Youth Pastor

• Lead monthly in-depth Bible studies through theology that challenges each student in their individual walks with Christ. “How to study the Bible.”
• Provide trainings for the SLT in their areas of responsibility.
• Discover areas for character development in each student and address them individually.
• Assign leadership responsibilities to students based on the individual’s spiritual gifts, passions and vision for ministry.
• Assign an adult mentor to each student.
• Train adult volunteers to teach and utilize their SLT student effectively.
• Provide encouragement and input for all mentors and student leaders.
• Oversee the SLT ministry.

…of mentoring adult volunteers

• Contact the student outside of church once a week to pray together and encourage him/her.
• Speak well of the student both privately and publicly.
• Report to the youth pastor on a monthly basis about the struggles and successes of the student leader.
• Assign tasks to the student leader in their area of responsibility.
• Ensure that the student is successful and learns from each experience.
• Debrief with the student after each experience to review what was done well and discuss what can be done better.