Heather Hershey, a youth director in Pennsylvania, emailed me concerning a comment I made in previous post about having evening meetings at only church about once every 3 months. Here’s what she asked:

How in the world are you able to NOT have evening meetings? I have a ton, but it’s because all of our church volunteers work during the week and can’t meet during the daytime. Please share this secret with me!

There’s no big secret — just don’t have meetings! What is it that you guys have to meet so frequently about? Can you find other ways to communicate? I have about 60 adult volunteers in my youth ministry and we have three meetings a year: 1) new school year around August; 2) Christmas Party in December; and 3) end-of-the-school-year wrap-up meeting in May. There’s occasional other little meetings that happen within sub-groups of leaders, but usually I don’t go to them. They can function just fine without me. (If your ministry can’t function without you, then you need to restructure it and delegate responsibility. If they don’t accept the responsibility for something, then you shut that thing down. If no one takes charge, that tells you how important it really must be to them.) We have trainings that I’m in charge about twice a year, but those are usually a Saturday morning and afternoon kinda thing.

Most of my communication takes place online, which allows us to handle issues a lot faster and efficiently than waiting for the next meeting to discuss something. I also just make a lot of executive decisions myself. Decisions that require quick input (and don’t necessarily need to be approved by all 60 adult leaders) I run by a group of 5 adult leaders who are my “executive leaders.” They’re people who have been involved in various aspects of the youth ministry for a long time, are spiritually mature, and are very good with responding to emails and phone calls in a timely manner.

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Have a youth ministry question you’d like me and other readers to answer? E-mail it to me! Please keep your question brief and to-the-point. Thanks!

Indoor Game; All Ages; 10 or more kids

This game idea is submitted by Russell Martin, a worship leader in Texarkana, Texas.

Gather many rolls of toilet paper and put them in the middle of the room. Divide the group into two teams and put them on either side of the room. Play normal dodge ball rules. If you hit someone, they are out. If they catch the “ball,” you throw you are out, etc. After round one then play again. This time, however, an adult leader gets to play god. The leader tells the youth that at any time they can tell someone they are out, or put someone back in no matter what. Whatever the leader says goes!

After the game the youth will probably complain about it not being fair, about you not being fair. Use this time to talk about God being fair and just.

SUBMIT YOUR GAME: If you have a favorite youth group game, tell me about it. If I publish it, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

“Do what I say, not what I do!” We’ve all heard that saying and know it is totally unbiblical. However it isn’t always easy to set a perfect example for others, especially when it’s a weak spot in which God is working in our own lives. After all, we don’t come into ministry mature and perfected. God uses ministry as part of the process to refine us and make us more like Jesus. People look at us to see how the Christian life should really work. We know all the answers, or at least we tell others how to do it, so we should have it down ourselves.

Often we communicate more by what we do than what we say. Teaching how to witness, pray, and serve others can be relatively simple, but showing by example how to handle criticism and persecution is harder. It is especially difficult when such attacks come from other believers in the church. Yet God allows unfair criticism to come against us. One of the reasons is for us to set an example to others of how to respond. Youth who live for Jesus will be criticized and persecuted by others. You can tell them how to respond, but you can also back it up by your actions. What kind of an example are you setting for those who are watching you?

Scripture
Matthew 5:10-12, “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

2 Timothy 4:9, “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia…. Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.”

Reflect

• Have you been unfairly criticized lately? By whom?
• What did your students learn from the example of how you handled it?
• What did you do right?
• What could you have done better?

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

We had another great Skypecast discussion last Friday! Thanks to everyone who came! It was really a beneficial time for all of us to hear about how God is working in other ministries, to be encouraged in tremendous ways and to receive advice from others who have often already gone through the exact the same things we are. I love hanging out and talking with you all about anything that pertains to “life in student ministry” and “what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29).

This week we covered several great topics, including:

• Building relationships with teens this summer
• Prioritizing time and responsibilities in ministry
• The balance between teaching from a plan and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead differently last-minute
• The difference between teaching from a curriculum and teaching from our lives
• What stresses us out the most in youth ministry
• Handling conflict
• Disciplining kids in our ministry
• Keeping different literacy levels and age groups of teens engaged together without leaving some behind

It’s been over a year since my last podcast, so what better time to publish another one than to feature some of the highlights from last Friday’s Skypecast conversation. To join in the conversation again this Friday, visit the Life In Student Ministry Skypecast page at 1:00 PM Central Time and click the link to join the discussion via Skype. If you don’t have a microphone, don’t worry — you can still interact via the group chat room.

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Click the Play button below to listen to the Podcast here:

 

 Skypecast Highlights from 05-09-2008 [5:30m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

A huge thanks to Jake Bouma for donating today’s Freebie Friday! He created an icebreaker called “Pseudonyms” that encourages kids to be pretty creative as they come up with new names for themselves. Be sure to check out Jake’s blog at http://www.jakebouma.com/ and thank him for his contribution to all of our ministries.

Here’s his description:

It’s a single page sheet that asks you to combine words to make funny names for yourself, such as your “Rockstar name”, “Hippie name,” and “Spy name.” I was inspired to put this together by a meme I saw floating around the blogosphere. I used it with both my junior and senior highers and we had a hilarious time reading some of our answers.

Download “Pseudonyms”

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

A while ago Greg Stier told me to check out the Deep & Wide ministry strategy and asked me to share my thoughts with him. I honestly put it off for a while just because of time and priorities, but a couple weeks ago I read the 34-page thesis and was actually surprised how much it coincided with what’s already taking place in my youth group. We’ve been taking a natural shift in this direction already — Deep & Wide just put words to what we’re already experiencing.

Deep & Wide is not another ministry philosophy. It’s not intended to be a formula for youth groups. It’s not the newest, latest, wave of ministry hype. It is simply an approach to ministry that movies spiritually apathetic teens to spiritually passionate teens. And it truly is simple. Just as the book Simple Church advocates, our modern approach to ministry is very cumbersome: we have purpose statements, vision statements, mission statements, core values, target audiences, various strategies, blah, blah, blah. It’s all supposed to fit together somehow, but yet the average Joe in our church has no idea what any of it means, and often we don’t either. Deep & Wide is simple: the vision is the mission, is the purpose, is the values, is the strategy and everything else rolled into one cohesive approach.

But most importantly, it’s straight from the Word of God. As my own ministry has discovered, it’s funny how God works when we actually do what His Word tells us to do in ministry and stop focusing on all the other fabricated stuff we add to it.

Lest you think scripture isn’t foundation enough, Willow Creek and REVEAL are finding that the typical approach to church ministry is not moving people toward a closer relationship with Christ. All their research and statistical data backs up Deep & Wide exactly.

I’m not going to explain to you what Deep & Wide is since you can read it yourself. However, I do have some reactions to it that Greg and I have already discussed extensively. He agrees with my critique and plans to make these changes as they go through an evaluation process and release a revised copy later this summer.

1. The role of the Holy Spirit, although mentioned, seems largely removed from the process. It’s mentioned a couple times, but I think He deserves more credibility in the process than the thesis mentions. Absolutely none of the Deep & Wide stuff happens without Him. That’s actually a problem I have with most ministry philosophies out there — they come across as almost being a methodical approach to coercing the divine into doing something.

2. Although I think the 30 core truths are good, basing it on a survey from leaders in various denominations strikes me as being a bit too human-ordained. Where does the issue of spiritual identity come in (being made in His image in Genesis, being “in Christ” in Eph, etc.)? It seems like a lot of good topics to cover from a systematic theology approach, but a student could possibly go through every issue listed and never come out knowing what it means to be a responsible, growing and effective believer except to have a list of stuff they’re supposed to “do,” rather than knowing who they “are.” What we “do” should flow from who we are, not the other way around. Identity in Christ comes first.

3. Deep & Wide has a sense of methodicalness to it, almost as if it promises that if I do A, B, and C, that means X, Y, and Z will happen, but we all know that spirituality a lot messier than that. The graph of spiritual growth over time is never a straight upward climb. The thesis needs to reflect the bumps and setbacks that will take place in real life and not unintentionally create unrealistic expectations.

4. I’m a little more careful with the book of Acts than the Deep & Wide thesis is when making a defense for what the church should be like today. Acts was an abnormal time period for the church, a period of transition characterized by elements that aren’t and can’t be a part of us today. However, the point that God wants to bring thousands into a relationship with Him is well taken and understood.

5. Teenagers are looking for adult sponsors who can answer “yes” to FOUR questions — the three questions the thesis mentions, plus “Are you reflecting Christ more accurately every day?” I’ve had youth leaders who loved Jesus, loved kids and were real, and I’ve had to kick them out leadership for gross immaturity issues. Youth leaders must be growing in Christ if they’re going to be the spiritual role model that I (and the Lord) expect.

Of course, people usually only respond to points of disagreement, which is essentially what I’m doing here, but I wholeheartedly support and agree with the big picture of Deep & Wide. In fact, it’s the only required text to read and discuss in my youth ministry leadership mentorship program.

If you’ve read the Deep & Wide Ministry Thesis, Greg and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, especially now as it goes through revisions.

If you’re a fan of the Life In Student Ministry Facebook page or if you follow me on Twitter, you saw me mention an open youth ministry round-table Skypecast discussion for Friday afternoon. About eight of you showed up! Despite some initial technical difficulties, the conversation actually went very well for a first-time attempt. In fact, we’re going to try it again this Friday and possibly make it a regular thing. We discussed several issues together that we’re currently facing in our ministries:

• One-on-one discipleship plans
• Handling ministry responsibilities on our day off
• How to answer students’ tough questions about God
• Summer ministry plans
• Some of our favorite youth group games
• And more

It was a fun and energizing time to just hang out, relax and talk about life and ministry. I’m looking forward to the conversation again this Friday at 1:00 PM Central Time. Plus, I’ll have a LIVE video feed running this time, too.

Joining Skypecasts is really quite simple. For details about how this works, visit my new Skypecast page. All you need to listen is a Windows computer and Skype (it’s FREE!). If you’d like to participate in the discussion, you’ll also need a working microphone.

This Friday at 1:00 PM Central Time, login to Skype and hang out with me and other youth workers online. In the meantime, add me to your Skype contacts: rockinyp Oh, and become a fan of my Facebook page so you don’t miss out on opportunities like this again in the future. I’ll be announcing featured guests through the Facebook page who are already lined up to join us in up-coming conversations.

[ Life In Student Ministry Skypecasts ]

Indoor Game; All Ages; 4 or more kids

We played this a couple weeks ago in both our Jr. High and Sr. High ministries. The facial expressions and reactions are priceless!

The game is pretty simple. I broke students up into teams of about 4-5 people, projected an image of 20 Jelly Beans from PowerPoint, gave each team a corresponding answer sheet and a zip-lock bag of Jelly Beans. The object was to try to identify all 20 Jelly Bean flavors within 10 minutes.

It sounded fine until the kids realized that half the Jelly Beans were sweet (Banana and Peach) and half were gross (Moldy Cheese and Baby Wipes) and there was no way to tell which was which until they actually ate it. One of our Jr. Highers got the Vomit flavored bean stuck in her throat and almost puked! It was awesome! Others ran to the water fountain screaming! lol

I got the Bean Bazooled boxes by Jelly Bean, but unfortunately their site was out of stock, so I purchased them from this shop on eBay instead ($2.25/box with $5.50 S&H total for 1-18 boxes).

Bean Bazooled Answer Sheet
Bean Bazooled PowerPoint

SUBMIT YOUR GAME: If you have a favorite youth group game, tell me about it. If I publish it, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

No one can deny that we live in a very sensual, sex-saturated world. Visual images abound. Our computers and TV bring them right into the privacy of our home, billboards litter the highway and magazine stands at the grocery checkout make it almost impossible to escape. Even in ministry the dress code and activity of some to whom we minister to can be at the least a distraction and often a great temptation. Being in the ministry doesn’t make one immune to sexual temptations – look at how many great Christian men fall. It’s one of the enemy’s best tools to destroy those who would serve God. The danger is always there, but it gets even greater when we struggle with our spouse or the ministry isn’t going well. It becomes an escape, a drug of choice, a way of anesthetizing ourselves against pain while substituting the hurt with “pleasure.” But it’s like drinking salt water because it doesn’t satisfy and ultimately makes the emptiness worse.

The solution starts with a strong, daily, growing relationship with Jesus. Connecting with Him every day is a must. Every thought must be brought under control (2 Corinthians 10:5). The temptation of what pops into our mind isn’t sin, but we are responsible for what we do with it. We can’t let it stay or entertain it for even a moment, or it will quickly take root and grow.

A strong relationship with our mate is also essential. Having an accountability partner is vital as well. We all need someone who will ask the tough questions in love, who will be there to challenge and help. Many don’t get serious about this until it is too late. Don’t wait until damage is done to your ministry and marriage before getting serious about this subtle but deadly sin!

Scripture
2 Timothy 2:22, “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.”

Job 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.”

Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

2 Corinthians 10:5, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Reflect

• If your private thoughts were made public for all to see, which would be most embarrassing to you?
• When is lust the greatest temptation to you? What is your plan to be victorious at those times?
• Who is your accountability partner, to ask the tough questions in love? If you don’t have one, who can you talk to today to become one who is not your spouse?

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

This week marks one year since I released my free ebook, 130 Youth Ministry Tips and Ideas. It’s full of mistakes to avoid, possible changes to implement, and ideas to consider. Out of all the youth ministry material I’ve created over the years, this ebook is probably the work I’m most proud of. It’s been downloaded close to 10,000 times, so check it out if you haven’t yet.

130 More Youth Ministry Tips and Ideas

I’m working on a sequel to my original ebook, but I’d love for this one to be more of a community effort since most of you have more wisdom and insights than I’ll ever have. Submit your tips and ideas using this form. You’ll receive full credit next to your tip/idea in the ebook with a link back to your blog.

Submit your tips and ideas for the next one!

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.