1. “Eh, it’s good enough.”
This is not an appropriate attitude to have toward your ministry! You should never look at a Bible lesson, worship set, communication or the ministry in general and think that it’s up to par. Rather, strive for excellence in all you do and “work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward” (Col. 3:23-24).

2. “It’s not about numbers.”
Numbers are important because it shows that you’re not an inward-focused little Christian bubble. You should be intentionally reaching out in your community, seeking the lost for Christ because every number out there represents a lost soul.

3. “I need to pretend like I’m perfect so kids look up to me.”
Yeah, whatever! Kids need to see that you’re a real human being who make mistakes, has failures and sometimes struggles in your walk with Christ. It doesn’t make you a bad role model — it makes you someone they can actually relate to.

4. “We can’t do effective youth ministry without a budget, a cool youth room and a paid youth pastor.”
There’s nothing that suppresses imagination, creativity and excitement more than focusing on what you don’t have. Instead, focus on the tools and resources God’s provided and run with that! The best ministry takes place outside the church, doing something free with a volunteer adult who just loves kids.

5. “It’s wrong and hurtful, but I’ll let it go.”
Avoiding issues that need to be addressed (gossip, disrespect, etc.) will erode unity faster than anything else. Confront it head-on for the sake of the ministry even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Seriously.

6. “I’m not funny or outgoing. I don’t play a guitar, have no facial hair, and I’m over 40. There’s no way can work with teens.”
In fact, the best youth workers I’ve ever encountered are retired, white to no hair, know nothing about the latest bands or movies, but deeply love teenagers and have lives that are jam-packed with spiritual maturity and wisdom that no young adult could ever impart.

7. “We need to play lots of games and have lots of fun at youth group.”
Yes, you do need to have lots of fun at youth group, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be through lots of hype and games. In-depth Bible study is what kids crave — that’s fun!

8. “This is pointless. I don’t see any life-change taking place.”
And you may never see it. Sometimes the investment you make now doesn’t pay off until years down the road when you may no longer be in touch with the students. Speak God’s truth into their lives and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

9. “We need to have lots of programs and activities for kids.”
Having a full calendar may actually be a symptom of insecurity more than a sign of strength. Besides, just because students participate in a lot of church events does not mean they’re actually growing.

10. “They’re just teenagers. I can’t expect too much from them.”
Teenagers have more potential than any other age group! They’re leaders, innovators, creative, passionate, and have more energy than 100 youth pastors on Jolt. They’re incredibly responsible about whatever is important to them. Maybe your expectations are just way too low. Challenge them to a higher standard.

An interesting shift has taken place in our Sr. High large-group meetings. For a while I’ve felt pressure toward the end of each meeting to quickly wrap up our Bible study in order to end on time, not because we started late but because discussions naturally seemed to progress past our allotted time. I thought our typical hour of games, fun and relationship building followed by 30 minutes of Bible study was working okay — numbers were steady and no one was complaining — but when we started Dare 2 Share’s G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey, the 40 minute DVD sessions caused our meeting format to slowly morph into 15 minutes of games, fun, relationship building and worship with 75 minutes of Bible study. Even then, we still went another 15 minutes overtime before abruptly ending some of the most stimulating theological discussions we’ve ever had.

Throughout the time format shift I was concerned that we’d confuse some of the new believers in our group by going too deep too fast, but actually the Bible became more intriguing for them and they started asking deeper questions. They wanted to see that there’s an element of mystery to the Scriptures, not have all mystery removed by shallow Sunday school answers.

I also anticipated that some of the kids might start to drop out since the Bible study was now three times longer than usual, but actually the opposite happened — some started inviting friends on their own initiative. New students are still coming almost every week! Our Sr. High room is now jam-packed with kids filling every couch, sitting all over the floor and even spilling out into the entry-way.

I’m embarrassed by this realization: kids don’t come to youth group because they need me to organize dodge ball for them; they come because they want to be deeply challenged in their faith. They’re tired of superficial churchy Bible lessons from some one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter curriculum manufacturer — they want to move from spiritual milk to solid food (1 Peter 2:2; Hebrews 5:11-14) and I regret to say that my approach to youth group was not facilitating the process as it should have. No longer am I essentially bribing kids to church with fun stuff and then quickly throwing in some Bible stuff before they run out the door.

After gaining feedback from a couple high school students, we decided to continue with the current format of 10-15 minutes of games and/or worship with 75 minutes of in-depth Bible study. In fact, the two choices between which studies to do next were How To Study The Bible, based on my Bible college and seminary notes, or systematic theology! We decided to start with an in-depth 6-week series on the former (with homework!) and will pick up the latter next. Just last week I spent about 15 hours preparing for How to Study the Bible and I’m pumped! (Sorry, can’t share my notes here because it’s heavily based on copyrighted material from my former Bible college and seminary professors, but the book I’m distributing to the kids is: “Living By The Book,” by Howard Hendricks.)

Dare 2 Share’s Deep and Wide Ministry Thesis ties in exactly with what is happening at our Sr. High large-group meetings: as teens grow deeper in their faith, they become more passionate and reach more people for Christ. Likewise, Mark Batterson is drawing the same conclusions when he blogged last week, “It seems to me that emerging generations don’t want watered-down, dumbed-down, or soft-sell versions of the truth. I think they want to be challenged and confronted.” Willow Creek’s REVEAL study is showing that the exact same thing is also true for adults. In fact, Willow is changing their entire ministry strategy because of it, and I think I am, too.

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

Even though we will do almost anything to avoid conflict, sometimes conflict arises no matter what we do. It may be a problem between parents, teens, or even the church leaders. Misunderstanding motives or poor communication skills are often behind these conflicts, but other times it’s just because of strong differences of opinion. Perhaps someone wants more control or authority then they should be granted, or someone else seems to enjoy causing trouble. No matter what the cause, conflict must be faced and resolved.

Prevention is better than correction, but we might not address the issue until it becomes large. Maybe we may feel it is not our duty or responsibility, and so we do nothing. However, when God shows us something that needs to be corrected it is our job to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We need to thoroughly articulate our response in our minds before doing or saying anything. We also need to pray about both the problem and the solution. God will provide wisdom and guidance. Then, when we act, we can often expect that others may not respond in a godly way, but we still need to do what is right to the best of our abilities, doing what Jesus would do if He were in our shoes. Afterward, we can learn from the experience and move on.

Remember, Jesus Himself faced conflict in His ministry, especially from within his own group of disciples. If He faced conflict, so can we! Don’t let the experience discourage you, distract you, defeat or depress you.

Scripture
Romans 12:18-20, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’”

Titus 3:9, “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”

Galatians 6:1-5, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.”

Reflect

• What is your “style” of handling conflict? Do you avoid it, rush headlong in, seek compromise, or just ignore it? What should your personal conflict management style look like?
• Think of some conflicts you’ve had in the past. What did you learned from them? What might you have done differently?
• Are you facing any conflicts at the present? What would Jesus do? Who can you go to for advice? Have you been praying about it? What is your plan of action?

P.S. Download Tim’s Principles for Confrontation from his Free Youth Ministry Resources page.

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

Paul Turner of The Disciple Project Ministries donates this week’s Freebie Friday by providing a 3-part small group study he wrote for one of their Discipleship Camps. These lessons help students get past the surface of spirituality and journey towards the deep end of their faith. The sessions are:

1. Under Authority: Looking At What Lies Beneath
2. Under His Power: Making Decisions With God’s Help
3. Under Obligation: Using Your Gifts As the Giver Intended

Each lesson is packed with interactive ideas, questions and handouts. Paul uses the illustration of a pool to help move students from the shallow end to the deep end of the pool. It also comes with a 21 day follow-up plan called “Coming up for A.I.R.” and a resource page with further ideas and activities for teaching the lessons.

Submerged: Leaders Guide
Submerged: 21-Day Follow-Up Plan

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

Become a guest blogger for Life in Student Ministry
I’m always looking for people to bring new experiences and fresh perspectives to Life in Student Ministry. Check out this page if you’d like to be a guest blogger here.

Ten questions every leader should ask
Some of these questions are convicting just to read. I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.

15 signs that you (or your church) lacks vision
Simple ideas for evaluating our ministries.

FREE Adobe Photoshop Online
Have some youth group pics that need a little editing? Check out this brand new online Photoshop for picture tweaks, 2 GB online free storage, picture imports from Facebook and more.

Paris Hilton says happy to be role model for girls
Uhh, what?! I can’t believe she’s actually serious! [ht Ypulse]

Values Session 7: Serve (Part 2)
Jon shares a free youth lesson about serving others based on Ephesians 4:11-12.

For Gen Y, the world is flat
Students prefer to view leadership and consume news from peer-to-peer, not from the top-down style.

Youth Ministry Confessions
Some very convicting confessions: “I confess my over-programming, which I thought was a sign of strength, but may actually have been a symptom of insecurity.” [ht PlugRug]

How to keep volunteers for a LONG TIME!
Some great practical ways to help your adult youth leaders involved and passionate. [ht PlugRug]

Are you healthy? - A 10 point plan for youth leaders
Grahame shares from decades of youth ministry experience about how to achieve longevity and remain healthy in ministry. [ht PlugRug]

“She’s grounded from coming to youth group”
Brian’s story of how NOT to respond to a parent who grounds their kid from youth group.

Worst ministry decisions I have made - Part 1
Learn from Mark’s mistakes. He has some good insights.

I don’t blog advertisements…
Anyone who’s been around Life in Student Ministry for a little while knows that I almost never write product reviews. Although I’m contacted almost every week by different companies asking me to write about their product or services, I very rarely do so because 1) I don’t want this to turn into a youth ministry marketing blog, and 2) the time you spend reading/skimming these posts is too valuable to waste on “glorified advertisements.” However, whenever I do mention a product or service, it’s only because I’ve actually used it myself and found it to be a resource that’s highly worth recommending for your ministry.

…but this is good!
Dare 2 Share’s Go Wide kit and The G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey are two such tools that I’ve been dying to share with you. Both the Jr. High and the Sr. High students in my ministry have gone through these studies with amazing results: their understanding of the gospel is crystal clear and they are now articulating it just as clearly with their unsaved and unchurched friends. I’ve never seen Jr. High glued to teaching and instruction as they were during Greg’s DVD sessions. And some of the most deep and meaningful conversations we’ve ever had with high school students took place following the G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey videos.

Go Wide Evangelism Training Kit
Greg takes a couple DVD sessions to teach the Go Wide strategy, that is, to spread the message of salvation to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:19-20). He’s not only motivational, he gives practical training on how to actually share Christ with an old friend or a new acquaintance: Pray, Peruse, Persuade. The discussion guide then helps kids place faces and names to the strategy in their own lives.

The G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey
The G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey is an attempt to be a “reality show” where they put together an atheist, an agnostic, a Wiccan, a city girl, an Episcopalian, a Presbyterian and a minister’s kid to create some thought-provoking discussions on God, religion and faith. Although the concept is great, it wasn’t as much of a typical reality show as it was Greg teaching God’s plan of salvation through the entire Bible and getting feedback from those with opposing viewpoints. The idea still worked for my group anyway. The best part is that Greg covers the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, throughout the series, giving students a clear understanding of the central theme that ties all of scripture together.

The only downside to The G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey is that the video sessions tend to be about 40 minutes long, which makes it tough to fit in decent discussions if you only have an hour and a half meeting with games and a time of worship. So, my youth group meetings slowly morphed from our typical 30 minutes of Bible study to 70 minutes of Bible study and the kids loved it! In fact, we’re going to stick with the 70 minute teaching times from now on at the high school large-group meetings. (Although, there’s more behind the shift than just this DVD series.)

How we used it
We took about 4 weeks to go through the Go Wide kit and then seven or eight weeks to go through the G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey. The two work great hand-in-hand. Go Wide covers a strategy for personal evangelism and the G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey follows-up nicely with other viewpoints of Christianity. It helps students know how to respond to the questions they’ll encounter or maybe questions they’re currently wrestling with. The discussion guide includes two different outlines for each DVD teaching session: one that focuses on training students who are already believers, and one that focuses on discussing salvation with pre-saved teenagers, making it a great outreach tool.

To find out more about these two products, check out these links for promo videos, downloadable leader guides, and more:
Go Wide: info | purchase $74.00
G.O.S.P.E.L. Journey: info | purchase $169.00

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

Getting paid to do what you love is a real privilege and blessing. Every once in awhile I awaken to my own awesome opportunity of being able to spend my time serving God while watching Him work and receive a salary for it. I feel as though I should be paying others for this great opportunity! Being a pastor moves me deeply and I am humbled and inspired to give God my very best every day.

But, at times, I admit I see my job as a merely a job; a burden to be worn; something I am stuck doing to pay the bills at home. Sometimes this happens because I get discouraged during tough times, or because I’ve drifted in my own personal walk with the Lord. It can also happen because I get too busy doing too many things. Other times it is a hobby that diverts my focus, or administrative work that becomes cumbersome. There are many things which are fine in themselves, but can distract me from the main job.

In 2 Timothy 2:3-7 Paul uses the example of a soldier to explain the difference between a job and a lifestyle. A soldier’s first loyalty must be to his commanding officer. He can not be so involved in civilian matters that they affect his availability or commitment to his leader. He must be ready and available to do whatever and to go wherever, at any moment’s notice. In life, enjoying things outside of work is good, but when those things interfere with serving the Lord, then those things are out of place. They can become an idol, and we all know what God thinks of idols!

Scripture
2 Timothy 2:3-7, “Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs — he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.”

1 John 5:21, “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.”

Reflect

• What is ministry to you, a job or a lifestyle?
• If it is just a job, what must you do to change that?
• What most distracts you from your ministry?
• What must you do to keep your focus where it needs to be?

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

Here’s a resource unlike one I’ve ever offered or mentioned here at Life in Student Ministry. The worship director at my father-in-law’s church, Russell Martin, writes and records a lot of his own worship songs. He’s now branching out to give away some of his music as free downloads along with a chord/lyric sheet for others to use freely in their ministries. If you’re getting tired repeating the same songs over and over again, check out some of Russell’s worship songs because it’s free you don’t need a CCLI to legally use it.

His first worship music giveaway is called, “Lord, Let Your Love.” He explains the story behind the song and then offers links to download the mp3 and chord sheet.

Although he hasn’t provided a chord sheet for it, his song, “Don’t Feed the Bears,” is also available on his site and is probably my favorite song of his so far. The analogy he explains about the background of the song paints a funny mental picture in my mind and makes me chuckle each time I listen to the song. What a fun song to use at youth group! I’m sure you could easily come up with a great set of hand motions for it! Maybe he’ll provide a chord sheet or sheet music for this song, too, if you ask nicely.

You can hear more of Russell’s music in the sidebar of his Facebook page.

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

PlugRug.com is taking off! With several hundred visitors every day, it’s quickly becoming a great place to collaborate around some of the best ministry resources, tools and ideas on the web.

Here are some guidelines to help enhance your experience as a PlugRug user:

1. Make your submissions stand out by using an avatar.
The default “P” image tends to blend in to the crowd. Get noticed when you contribute to the PlugRug community by using a profile picture.

2. When submitting material, use a good title, brief description and accurate tags.
This will have a big affect on whether people choose to check out the story or not. Accurately describe what your recommended material is about and why you think others should check it out, too.

3. Leave comments.
This is perhaps one of the most valuable aspects of a social site like PlugRug. If you plug it, say why you like it and think it’s valuable. If you bury it, feel free to do the same.

4. Don’t be afraid to bury!
The point of PlugRug is to let the best stuff rise to the top. Without material that is “swept under the rug,” a lot of it may eventually rise to the top and that’s not helpful for anyone. Bury it rather than thinking, “Maybe someone else will like it and plug it instead.”

5. Subscribe to PlugRug’s RSS feeds.
There’s feeds for all published stories, all upcoming stories, upcoming and published stories for each specific category, which helps you stay up to date with all the latest recommended material for your ministry niche. There’s even feeds for individual users whose submissions you typically find to be valuable.

6. Avoid constantly submitting only your own material.
It actually works against you since people tend to ignore your site and your submissions after a while. Try adding the Plug Button to your site and let other people submit your material if they recommend it.

7. Link to the primary source, not to someone else’s post that links to the source.
Pretty self-explanatory. It’s annoying to go to one site just to have to click another link to finally see the story. Take us straight there.

8. You don’t have to visit PlugRug to submit a link.
At the bottom of your profile page there’s a bookmarklet you can add to your browser. Use this link in your browser to easily submit stories with a single click.

[Some of these tips based on 11 Digg Tips.]

I also don’t give info on to other teachers to pass along to their small groups or classes. Other youth groups communicate updates every week and that’s fine for them, but I just choose not to because that “info download” time can take place just as easily (and more effectively) through a variety of other means. I don’t like to take time away from our lesson, games, worship and fun time together for it. So, here’s how I communicate news and announcements to my group.

Our website:
About once or twice a week I post all the latest news, info and announcements on the front page of our youth group website. That way, every time kids or parents visit the site it’s right there in front of them with direct links to everything they need, like a sign-up page or form download. (Details about our site here.)

Email list:
Yeah, I know, email is pretty outdated for teens, but parents still use it. When I post new information on the front page of our website, it automatically generates an email that sends the new post to our mailing list (using Feedblitz).

Facebook group:
It’s hard to fit all the news for the week into a mass private message to everyone in our Facebook group since it can tend to be pretty long. So, instead I briefly cover the highlights and super-important items and include a link back to the more comprehensive post on our website for more information.

Txt message list:
Having a txt message list is an invaluable tool for us, especially because it allows us to change event details at the last minute and communicate it with everyone in a matter of seconds, regardless of whether they’re in front of a computer or not. It’s also great for brief reminders. (I use TxtSignal.com and highly recommend them.)

Bulletin insert:
Of course, there’s always visitors to our church and people who don’t use the Internet, email or txt messaging, so we take the news I post to the website and print it out as a bulletin insert each week. It’s helpful for parents and guests to have in-hand each week and serves as a flyer for kids to hand out to friends.

Basically, I type the announcements once and it’s distributed in a variety of ways. Granted, it sometimes takes some time to re-train people who are used to having info spoon-fed to them, but overall it makes them more responsible to stay up-to-date and it sure makes my life a lot simpler.

Some past ideas I’ve used that don’t work too well anymore:

AIM:
I created an AOL Instant Messenger screen name for our youth group, left it online 24/7 in the church office, and put announcements in the away message for kids to check whenever they’re online. It was fun for a little while, but eventually kids stopped using it because they got used to seeing it in their buddy lists all the time.

Skype-in hotline:
Everyone’s thought of having a call-in hotline where people can listen to a recording of the latest announcement low-down, but it can be expensive to have a dedicated line for it, so I purchased a Skype-In number, which is significantly cheaper. No one really used it, though. Kids aren’t excited about me rattling off news at them during youth group so they rarely take the initiative to hear it on purpose.

Phone calls:
Although this is by far the best option available if you only have to contact a couple students, it’s a nightmare for anything more than 20 kids. You leave messages that aren’t passed on and it’s not very time efficient (in a good way, though). On the flip side, it’s an excellent way to connect with parents if they answer when you call their kid.