Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

God is more interested in changing you through your youth than He is in changing your youth through you. Let me say that again. God is more interested in changing you through your youth than He is in changing your youth through you. It’s true. Why do you think He allows the frustrations and problems, the challenges and heartaches that keep driving you back to Him? It is easy to start thinking that God needs us to help these kids. The truth is: He doesn’t. He can do fine without us. He doesn’t need our skill — He’s the one who gave us the skill in the first place. We aren’t called to minister to others because we have reached some higher spiritual plateau. We are here in the ministry because this is God’s chosen way to stretch and mature us. Our ministry is His tool to make us more like Jesus. That’s His goal for all of us and it doesn’t end when we find ourselves leading others. Is He using you to help your teens become more like Jesus? I hope so — that’s great when it happens. But the real question is, is He using your teens to make you more like Jesus? That’s definitely on the top of God’s priority list for us. Don’t get so busy trying to change others that you miss what God is doing to change you!

Scripture
Philippians 1:3-6, “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Reflect

• How has God used what you have gone through as a youth pastor to help make you more like Jesus?
• What is He doing through your current situation to make you more like Him?
• Submit yourself anew to His process in your life. Make your number one goal in life to be more like Jesus.

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years now, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

Len Evans directed me to a resource by Fuller’s Center for Youth and Family Ministry and World Vision. It’s a 1 year plan (or 12 weeks, depending on how you use it) called Vision Generation for engaging students with poverty, AIDS, and world justice. The program lays out all the lesson plans, ideas, scripture passages, discussions, ideas and activities you’ll need to address these issues in your youth group in efforts to cultivate awareness of those hurting and dying all around us. And, of course, the curriculum is completely free.

To learn more about Vision Generation and to get their free curriculum, visit their website:

Vision Generation Packet

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison

Are You Controlling Your Emotions or Are Your Emotions Controlling You?
It is very important to note that before David had victory over his outward circumstances, he first had victory over his own emotions. Controlling our emotions, whether we feel like it or not, is a very biblical idea: “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28, KJ21). A city without walls is a sitting duck for invaders. Talk about trouble! This is why God tells us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). When we encourage ourselves in the Lord, like David did, we are guarding our hearts.

David’s Self-Encouragement Cycle: A Model for YOU!
Instead of letting depression, despair and discouragement rule his behavior, David ignored his discouraged emotions and did what he knew to be right, prayed to God, listened to what God said and then immediately did what God told him to do. Would you like to start a journey out of the pit of despair and discouragement? Would you like to experience God’s power in the midst of a heavy heart? Would you like to learn the skill of encouraging yourself in the Lord so that you can defeat the discouraging darts the enemy is throwing at you to keep you from effective ministry to others? Then I would challenge you to follow David’s example:

1. Do what you know is right, whether you feel like it or not.
2. Ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.
3. Listen to what God says to you, whether you feel like it or not.
4. Obey what God says to you immediately, whether you feel like it or not.

The Ray of Hope that Can Keep You Swimming in Discouraging Waters
In the book, Becoming a Person of Influence, John Maxwell and Jim Dornan tell of a fascinating experiment performed on laboratory rats to measure their motivation to live under different circumstances. Scientists placed a rat into a jar of water that was in total darkness. The scientists found that the rat could swim a little more than three minutes in complete darkness before it gave up and drowned. Then the scientists tried the exact same experiment with one minor variation: they allowed one tiny ray of light to shine into the jar of water where the rat was swimming. With one tiny ray of light, the rat kept swimming for thirty-six hours, over 700 times longer than the rat in complete darkness.

I totally understand that we, as humans, are not laboratory animals. However, I still think there is a lesson in here for us as youth leaders. When you follow David’s example and allow the sources of your discouragement to drive you to seeking God, praying to God, listening to God and obeying God, you unleash God’s power to shine one little tiny ray of hope into your discouraging situation. And that one tiny ray of hope can keep you swimming 700 times longer than if you opted to let the darkness of discouragement consume you.

A Final Challenge to Encourage Yourself in the Lord
The research conducted by Dr. Robert Clinton, Professor of Leadership at Fuller Theological Seminary, has absolutely frightening implications for us as Christian leaders. Clinton says, “Seventy percent of leaders don’t finish well.” It seems that most of us will not finish the race well. If Dan Webster is correct, the majority of us who do not finish well will eventually be sucked under by currents of discouragement until we are finally so exhausted that we just can’t come up for one more breath of hope.

However, my message to you is that we can experience hope in the midst of our deepest discouragement if we dare to be like David, a man after God’s own heart, and do something radical, simple and childlike. Pray. If we learn to encourage ourselves in the Lord, in the spirit of David, we can eventually deal the deathblow to discouragement.

Get this series in PDF format for FREE
If you’ve read all parts of this series, I’d love to bless you with a FREE PDF that includes the entire series and application pages. All you have to do is email me at bill@cadreministries.com, put I’M NOT QUITTING in the subject line, and write me a brief email telling me how God used this series to encourage you. Then I’ll send you the FREE PDF!

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison

David’s Discouraging Dilemma
In I Samuel 30 we read of the horribly discouraging day David and his men experienced. While David and his men were away from home (Ziklag) fighting their enemies, the Amalikites (not to be confused with the Hittites, Canaanites, or the Mosquito-bites), burned Ziklag and took all the women and children captive. When David and his men arrived home in Ziklag, they were shook to the very core of their hearts as they realized their loss. The Bible says that at this point, “David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep” (I Samuel 30:4). Can you relate? That, my friend, is discouragement in all its ugly glory. And just when you think things can’t get any more discouraging, in comes another heart-rending wave of fresh discouragement that takes a big bite out of your soul. Things go from bad to worse for David when his men started “talking of stoning him: each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters” (I Samuel 30:6). All of this caused David to be “greatly distressed” (v.6). Have you been there recently? Have you recently experienced a mother of all bad days?

David’s Divine Deliverance
What David did next is what separates those who end up as ministerial road kill from those who rise and continue walking (limping?) down the narrow road. With his heart securely held by the sharp talons of discouragement, we read these amazingly insightful words pregnant with leadership lessons for the observant reader: “But David encouraged himself in the Lord his God” (v.6, KJ21). It’s critical to note that dealing with discouragement is a self-leadership issue and skill — for David encouraged himself in the Lord. Did you get that? Everyone else was talking of killing David (talk about a bad day), but “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”

First Samuel 30:7-8 shows us the secrets to David’s success in defeating discouragement, lessons that we as leaders today must take careful steps to apply to our own lives lest we be another statistic at the devilish hands of discouragement. I want to highlight four lessons that we need to apply to our lives when we are battling discouragement. These four lessons, when we apply them to our lives, can help us learn the skill of encouraging ourselves in the Lord.

The Self-Encouragement Cycle

LESSON #1: Do what you know to be right, whether or not you feel like it.
The first step David took out of discouragement and into self-encouragement was that he asked the priest to bring him his ephod (v.7). An ephod is an article of clothing worn by priests and in this case is indicative of David’s intent to seek God. Simply put, I believe the first step out of discouragement is when you and I do what we know is right (i.e., seek God) whether we feel like it or not. The context of this story gives every indication that David probably did not feel like doing what was right. Remember: David wept until he had no strength left (I Samuel 30:4)! He probably felt more like giving up and having a pity party. But David makes the choice to do what is right, not what he felt.

If you allow your wounded emotions to control your behavior, you will never be able to rise above that which is discouraging you. David made a choice, made a proactive decision, to not let his feelings control his behavior and ultimately bring about his ruin. David’s heart began to come up from the bottom the moment he made the choice to seek God, though he still had a long way to go out of the labyrinth of despair.

As trite and worn out as it may seem, it’s absolutely essential that I point out that when we are in the depths of despair and discouragement, we should seek God. Obvious? I know we know this, but I’m not so sure that we do this! (See John 13:17 and Matthew 7:24-27.) Don’t we have a tendency to go to other people first? Or just shut down, beat ourselves up and play martyr? If discouragement can keep us in the bondage of our negative emotions and from seeking God, it will ultimately bring us down. So, like David, I challenge you to rebel against your feelings of discouragement, take a step of faith and seek God whether or not you actually feel like seeking Him. Call for your ephod!

LESSON #2: Ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.
The next step David took on the way out of discouragement and into the light of self-encouragement was that he “inquired of the Lord” (v.8). Allison translation: David said, “Help me, God!” I love non-pretentious and gut-level prayers. And this is precisely how we see the discouraged David pray! No flowery eloquence required when you are discouraged — David directly addresses his specific heart’s concerns: “Shall I pursue this raiding party [the Amalekites who ravaged his home and carried off his loved ones]? Will I overtake them?” This is bottom line praying from a desperate man. So whatever it is that’s currently breaking your heart and weighing you down like an anchor around your soul, address those specific issues in a straight shooting prayer to God. Cry out to God about it and be totally honest with Him.

“This Day Stinks God!”
Once I got a call from the parents of one of my students who was really struggling with life and, consequently, was very discouraged. I sat in my car with this student for about an hour. I just listened to this guy pour his heart out. He was hurting, depressed and discouraged in a big way. At the end of our time together, I asked him if he would pray to God about the sources of his troubles. He agreed to pray. We bowed our heads right there in the car, and he prayed, “Heavenly Father, thank you for this beautiful day…” I broke in immediately. I calmly objected, “Dude, if what you have shared with me for the last hour is really troubling you as much as you said it is, this day is anything but beautiful to you right now.” He smiled and laughed at himself. Then he paused, bowed his head, and said, “God, I’m hating my life right now…” and went on to ask God for specific help to his specific problems and the sources of his discouragement. The point is that when you are discouraged, you, like David, must honestly ask God to help you in very specific terms, whether you feel like it or not.

Oxygen for Your Gasping Soul
The last thing I want to do in this article is to insult your spiritual intelligence, especially if you are one who is discouraged right now. I can hear the almost angry thoughts racing through some of your discouraged minds. “Come on, Allison, is that the best you can do? I’m totally discouraged and you just tell us to pray about it? Is that all you have, worn out Christian clichés and pious platitudes? How simplistic can you be?” I admit that sometimes when I pray about things they get much worse and that’s even more discouraging. Sometimes, many times, nothing on the outside changes. However, there is something profoundly significant that happens on the inside of us when we “inquire of the Lord” in the midst of our darkest times of discouragement, though we may not even be able to see or feel it at the time. What happens? Little by little, the power of God is unleashed into our lives. Through prayer, a little oxygen is poured into our gasping souls. It may not seem like much at the time, but it’s that little bit of prayer-generated oxygen for the soul that keeps your spirit breathing, alive and hopeful. What is the alternative? A slow suffocating death by discouragement.

LESSON #3: Listen to what God says to you, whether you feel like it or not.
God did not seem to be put off by David’s direct, specific plea for help. Amazingly God answered David’s specific straightforward requests with very specific straightforward answers. God told David, “Pursue them. You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue” (v.8). Perhaps even more amazing is not that God responded to David’s specific requests, but that David heard what God said.

My own experience and journey has taught me that the process of hearing what God is saying takes much time in quiet, reflection, prayer, the Word and in godly counsel of a few trusted mentors. It’s in this stage of recovery that God turns up the heat to cook our character and that makes this part of the process very painful. But it’s absolutely critical that we try to hear from God when we are discouraged rather than just giving up in the process. Furthermore, we need to listen to what God says to us no matter how painful it may sound at the time. God wants to give us specific instructions about the specific sources of our discouragement. We must work at listening to him.

So when you are in the depths of discouragement, pray your heart out, but don’t be so distressed that you can’t hear what God may be saying to you. Be sure to listen for a response from God. Search his Word. Quiet your heart and be still. Listen to the counsel of people who are Spirit-controlled. Check everything you think you are hearing against the Word of God. If what you think you hear God saying to you does not jive with the Word of God, then go back to listening. However, if there is congruence between what you think God is saying to you and the Word of God, whether you like hearing it or not, then move on to lesson #4.

LESSON #4: Obey what God tells you to do immediately, whether you feel like it or not.
When God responded to David, David quickly responded to God by obeying. David took action. There is a time for prayer, but once God has given the clear marching orders it’s time for action! When you take action on God’s directions, you allow God to step into your life and the sources of your discouragement. William H. Murray puts it this way: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way.” When you obey God, whether you feel like it or not, you allow God to unleash his power into your life and encourage your heart and soul.

However, if God shows you what you need to do and you refuse to take action (i.e., you allow your feelings of discouragement to control your behavior) you will not experience a lift in your spirit. You may experience the pains of divine discipline. When David put immediate action to God’s marching orders, God’s power was unleashed into his depressing situation and, before the day was over, David came home with all that was previously lost and more (I Samuel 30:18-20).

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison
While everyone has highs and lows, it has been my experience and observation that church leaders seem to have a proclivity for higher highs and much lower lows. My own ministry experience has always been a mountain top experience. Either I’ve been on the top of the mountain or the mountain has been on top of me, but either way ministry has always been a mountain top experience.

When our lives and ministries are moving forward, we feel elated and unstoppable. (True confession time: Sometimes when the ministry news is good, I literally SCREAM and dance around my office in what has become known in our family and ministry as “The Cadre Praise Conga.” I line up my kids and we go around in circles singing, “Da-da-da-da-da—praise!” My teenage kids no longer participate in this celebration. Some folks just don’t know how to worship God! If I’m alone when good ministry news comes, I might even sing James Brown’s song, “I Feel Good.”) However, when our hearts are heavy and discouraged, our emotions plummet us to the deepest and darkest levels of despair. Frankly, I can cycle through the highest and lowest of leadership and ministry emotions in a single day. But what else would you expect from a guy who dances in his office?

Ministry Can Be Worse
You don’t have to be involved in ministry at any level very long before something or someone will sting the deepest part of your heart. You will get whacked! I’ve always found ministry situations particularly discouraging and emotionally disheartening because I expect a higher level of behavior from us as Christians. (See the Bible.) But the gossip, emotional terrorism and viciousness are often worse than many non-Christian environments in which I have worked. That, my friends, is discouraging and though it ought not be, it often is reality.

Discouragement from the Inside
As I write this, I am meeting with three ministry leaders from completely different ministries who don’t think they can hold on any longer. They are beat up, tired and wondering if it’s all worth it. I sat with a husband and wife who have served God faithfully for years. I listened to them pour out their horrendous story. We cried and prayed. No easy answers. No Christian clichés. Just tons of tough questions, soul searching, disappointment and discouragement.

Discouragement from the Outside
In addition to the inner turmoil and discouragement that is often a part of our experience in serving God in the church, there are outside extenuating factors that can exacerbate the sting of discouragement in our lives. Some ministry friends I know are struggling with extraordinary tragedies like children with cancer and brain tumors, and one friend’s four-year-old daughter was run over by a truck. Still other ministry partners are trying to negotiate the discouraging waters of rebelling teenagers and struggling marriages. When your inner strength is depleted and your outer world is crashing down on you, the discouragement is extremely overwhelming.

Discouragement: The Killer of Christian Leaders
Not long ago I attended a conference by Dan Webster. Webster cogently pointed out three common pitfalls that sidetrack leaders: laziness, temptation and discouragement. While what Webster had to say about all three of these leadership landmines was absolutely engaging, it was his comments concerning discouragement that resonated deeply with my heart. Webster pointed out that of the three leadership pitfalls, discouragement was the biggest killer of leaders in the church. He said, “Discouragement among Christian leaders is almost epidemic.” When he said this, God brought specific faces of leaders — vocational and volunteer — I know who are currently journeying through difficult personal, relational, internal, emotional, spiritual, financial or ministerial terrain these days. From there my mind drifted to specific leaders I know who are not only out of leadership and ministry but their very faith has been shipwrecked on the rocks of discouragement.

Dealing the Deathblow to Discouragement
If discouragement is the primary leadership landmine that is blowing up in the face of Christian leaders like you, then it is absolutely critical that you learn how to encourage yourself in the Lord. Why encourage yourself? You may have noticed that no one else is coming to your rescue. And, frankly, there is little someone else can do for you if you do not do it for yourself. Therefore, developing the skill of self-encouragement is seminal to your survival! And God, in His book, the Bible, shows us how to encourage ourselves during those times our spirit wants to scream mercy and give up. One episode in David’s life in particular gives us some insight on how we can defeat discouragement by developing the ability to encourage ourselves in the Lord. More on that coming in part three.

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

by guest blogger, Bill Allison
I was twenty-two years old and in my last year of Bible College when I got a phone call from a senior pastor telling me that the vote to hire me as a church youth pastor was 35 to 5. I liked the 35 part—but was more than a little concerned about the 5 people who voted against the idea of me taking the position. When I told the senior pastor that I was a little worried about the 5 no votes, he said, “You have less no votes than I had when I accepted the call to be the senior pastor of this church!” So, with some apprehension and assurance from my senior pastor, I accepted the position.

During the very first week I served in that church as youth pastor, each of the people who voted against my coming to the church decided to drop in and visit me. They came into my office one at a time and said the most hurtful things—doing their absolute best to discourage me. (Have you ever noticed that some people in church seem to believe that discouragement and criticism are their spiritual gifts—and that they want to use them on you?) “Students will never like you,” one snorted as I imagined little horns starting to protrude from his head. Another told me in no uncertain terms that I was “out of the will of God” for accepting the position — and was so angry that she got her tail caught in the door of my office as she stormed out. Another held her pitchfork tightly and flatly said, “You will ruin this church.” With the exception of the horns, tail, and pitchfork — everything in this story is as it happened.

In all seriousness, to this day — twenty-three years later, I can still feel the sting of their words — though the hurt is not as sharp as it was once. Let me confess that I spent a full year of Sunday mornings dealing with my bitter emotions. On the outside, I appeared to be okay. But seeing “them” every Sunday wrecked me. Multiple times while my pastor was preaching his heart out, I would silently confess to God the vindictive thoughts that plagued my mind.

It’s no fun to lead when you feel like quitting. After a quarter-century of youth ministry, I know. That’s why I want to invite you to take this journey with me — via this special series we’re launching at Life in Student Ministry. We’ll begin to unpack the art and skill of leading when you want to quit. Why? Because I’m sick and tired of seeing the best and the brightest in youth ministry not only drop out of the ministry, but out of the faith. Hopefully, by the time this series is completed, you’ll be able to apply a clear and biblical strategy for dealing with the depression, despair, and discouragement that has come to be a part of the youth pastor experience. One thing is for sure. Discouragement and his ugly cousins, Despair and Depression, will try to sink their sharp bloody teeth into your very soul and take you down for the count. What’s up for grabs is: How will you deal with discouragement when it comes? Stay tuned…

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Who is Bill Allison? When he became a youth pastor, Bill Allison (center in picture below) had six keys to effective youth ministry. Now, twenty-five years later, Bill has six kids of his own and no keys. His kids are ages six to sixteen, including two in junior high and two in high school, so pray for him. Some of Bill’s lifetime goals are to drive in a smash-up derby, ride a Harley on Route 66 from Chicago to LA, and chase a tornado. He’s madly in love with his wife, Stacy, and dates her every week, even after 20 years of marriage. When Bill is not dating his wife or doing life with his kids (and their friends), he is the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries, a faith-based missionary team (with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience) who pour their lives out to help churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. Cadre has trained and certified many youth pastors to take training back to their students and volunteers. For information on becoming a certified trainer, or to bring Cadre training to your ministry, contact info@cadreministries.com. By the way, even as an old guy, Bill continues to serve as a volunteer in the high school youth ministry of his church and wants to spend the rest of his life training, coaching, and mentoring the next generation of volunteer and vocational youth workers.

Unfortunately, it’s too often that I hear about youth pastors who are going through bad church situations and have thus decided to pull out of ministry for good. I can completely identify with this feeling — I’ve felt it many times before (see here, here, and here) and I’m sure it’ll come again in the future. But each time there’s been a couple things holding me back, reasons why I’m still in ministry today despite the ministry trash I’ve been through.

1. Confidence in God’s calling on my life.

2. Knowing that the greatest rewards are often on the other side of the greatest trials.

3. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.

4. Working with sinful people is always messy, of which I am the worst.

5. I know the enemy wants me out.

Guest blogger series this week
This week Bill Allison will be featured as a guest blogger sharing a 4-part series called, Leading When You Want to Quit. As the Executive Director for Cadre Ministries — a faith-based missionary team with almost 100 years of combined youth ministry experience — he and his team pour their lives into helping churches equip students and volunteers to do ministry in Ephesians 4:11-12 fashion. He’s worked with hundreds of churches and youth workers all over the world, many of whom are on the brink of quitting the ministry for various reasons. This week Bill is gracious enough to share his wisdom and expertise of how to lead a ministry when you really just want to quit.

Leading When You Want to Quit Series
Leading When You Want to Quit (Part 1 of 4)
Leading When You Want to Quit (Part 2 of 4)
Leading When You Want to Quit (Part 3 of 4)
Leading When You Want to Quit (Part 4 of 4)

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)
Those in youth ministry are well aware that we are being constantly observed by others. It’s only natural to want to be seen in a positive way. It’s easy to wonder what the Senior Pastor thinks, or the board, or parents, or teens, or even fellow youth leaders. The temptation is to do whatever we can to get a positive response from these audiences. I’m not saying this is always wrong, as long as we remember that we really play to an audience of One. There is only One whose approval matters and it is easy to forget that He, too, is watching. Getting His, “Well done, good and faithful servant” will mean more than any praise we may get on this earth. There’s nothing wrong with being liked and appreciated in ministry. Just don’t let it become an idol — you know what God thinks of idols! He alone is the audience we must play to.

Scripture
1 Corinthians 10:32, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Reflect

• What other audience “competes” with God for your attention?
• Have you made your popularity and “success” an idol that comes before pleasing God?
• Is there anything you need to change in your life to more fully please God as He watches you?
• Remember, not only does God watch you, but He’s your biggest fan! Thank Him for that.

Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 14 years now, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

Ever since I started getting free stuff like an Xbox 360 Elite, Halo 3, 12-month subscription to Xbox Live, a 16GB iPod Touch, and now $580 cash from freebie sites, the comments and emails I get are, “Wow, I want to do this, too, but how can I get people to sign up under my referral link?” Here are some ideas.

1. Be patient.
The key this is patience. We’re all excited by the prospect of getting such cool gadgets or cash for free, but it will take some patience. It took me almost 3 months to get all the referrals I needed for my first freebie — an Xbox 360 Elite — because people think it’s a scam or are naturally skeptical (as I was at first). But after my Xbox finally arrived in the mail and I had physical proof that it’s real, it’s been a lot easier. In fact, after I had proof from the Xbox, the iPod Touch freebie site only took me 5 days to get the 8 referrals I needed for the 16 GB version! (In fact, I even went over by 2.)

From what I’ve seen around the Internet, the story is true for almost everyone. The first freebie takes a while to get, but after it shows up in the mail and you have evidence for your friends, the rest of the freebies roll in a lot easier. So, be patient, stick with it and you’ll get free stuff faster after you complete your first freebie site.

2. Talk to friends.
This is probably going to be your best bet for getting referrals. Just bring it up and tell people about it. Not everyone will be interested, but you don’t need everyone to be interested — you only need a couple. “Hey, do you have an iPod?… Do you like it?… I don’t have one, but I’m trying to get the iPod Touch for free… It’s actually really simple. It works like this…”

3. Post a note in Facebook.
When you post it in Facebook, chances are many of your friends will see it. Don’t write a 5-page essay or something people won’t bother to read — keep it short, sweet, clear and concise.

4. Write about it on your blog.
If you have one, copy and paste your Facebook note to your blog.

5. Post your link in the sidebar of your blog.
Since blog posts quickly get pushed off the front page and buried in the archives, put a link to that blog post in your sidebar so it appears on every page of your site. See my site for an example.

6. Email all your friends about it.
This probably doesn’t need much of an explanation. Mass email to your address book!

7. Put the link in your email signature.
Put either your referral link or a link to your blog post at the end of every email when you sign your name. Most email has a featured called “email signature” that will automatically attach whatever text you want to the end of every email when you send it.

8. Put the link in your forum signatures.
If you’re active on any forums, put your referral link or a link to your blog post in your signature there. That way it will appear every time you reply or start a new thread. If you have a reputation for being helpful and honest, you’ll probably do pretty well there.

9. Put the link in your instant messenger away message.
Those who use instant messaging software tend to have pretty extensive buddy lists. Put your link in your IM profile. When you’re away from the computer, put up an away message that displays info about how you’re getting a certain prize for free and how they can too.

10. Use the freebie site’s promotional tools.
When you login to your account at a freebie site, they provide you with many great promotional tools, including HTML and forum code you can copy and paste into your blog or forum signatures, professional graphics to use, suggested pre-written emails to send, and more. Take advantage of whatever tools the freebie site makes available and use them. They want you to refer people to their site just as badly as you do, so they’re more than happy to help you do it.

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Wait a second, what in the world is a freebie site?

If you’re reading this and have no idea what I’m talking about, basically there’s websites out there that will give you cool electronics or cash for FREE if you sign up on their site, complete a couple trial offers from one or more of their partnering companies and then refer a certain number of other people to do the same. These freebie websites send potential customers, like yourself and your friends, to companies to try their products and services with no obligation. (Although you can cancel at any time, I recommend you be fair to the company and give them a try since they’re helping you get your free stuff). In return, the freebie website gets a commission from the company whose trial you signed up. The freebie website then spends part of it on sending you a nice thank-you in the form of cash or a cool gift like an Xbox, iPod Touch, iPhone, even HDTVs. It’s all 100% legit. I know because I’ve received several gifts myself. See here and here for proof pictures.

How much is this going to cost me?
It depends on which trial offer(s) you decide to try. Some, like trying Stamps.com for a month, are complete free and won’t cost you a penny. Others, like PhotoStamps.com, require only a 1-time cheap purchase and that’s it. Every company is real and legit and most are offers you might want to try anyway, like a month of Blockbuster or Netflix.

Wanna get started? FREE iPhone, iPods, or cash
Right now you can help me out by signing up for either the iPods site or a iPhone site.

If you need help or have any questions, please feel free to ask in the comments below. I’ve cashed out on a couple sites already, so I’ve been through the process several times.

Have fun!

Here’s another great Bible lesson series from Brett Hetherington. Brett contributes so many great resources here that I think he deserves a prize of some kind. At the very least he deserves a great big hug from every youth worker who’s ever used his materials. Visit his site and let him know how much you appreciate his generosity in equipping your ministry with great resources time and time again.

Description:
The What is the Church Series is a 3-part Bible Study that aims to celebrate the local church as an institution laid down by God to aid us as disciples. It is broken into a exploring a brief overview of church history down through the ages, the church in its modern state (denominations, creeds, etc.) and why exactly God laid down the church as an institution for us to aspire to.

This study includes:

• Lesson outlines in Word formats
• Lesson outlines in Adobe formats

Download the What is the Church teaching series

CONTRIBUTE TO FREEBIE FRIDAY: If you’ve benefited from others who have freely shared their youth ministry resources online, consider giving back to the community by sharing your own materials here. Send me your donations for review and if I publish them in a Freebie Friday, you’ll receive full credit, a link, lots of gratitude and a warm feeling inside that comes from sharing with others.